Concrete Angel: Martina McBride
by Bananna18
Summary: Charlie dies, Renee marries Phil. After Renee dies Phil becomes abusive. Edward & his family try to help but it may already be too late for Bella.
1. Nobody knows what she's holding back

**A/N: I literally sat down at night and worked until morning writing this and the next chapter. **

"**She walks to school with the lunch she packed, Nobody knows what she's holding back." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.**

"**Little girl terrified, she'd leave her room if only bruises would heal." 'When She Cries' by Britt Nicole.**

I wake slowly, confusion clouding my every thought. For a few blissful seconds I can't remember anything. Not where I am. Nothing. No pain.

And then the memories return. Last night. My father. Blinding fury.

Tentatively I reach my hand up and brush my fingers against my lips. Minor pain, I've long grown used to and a stinging sensation, but my body still rebels in reaction to this unwanted touch. I pull my hand away.

Easing myself up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed I slowly creep over to my mirror, careful not to make too much noise and inspect the damages of last night.

Black and dark purple surround my left eye. Red runs along the edge of my cheek, from last night, not yet faded but a lot less angry. The yellow fading bruises from a previous outburst lie on the surface of my skin.

I tilt my head in the mirror, revelling at the way they start off red, then fade to purple and finally yellow before blending back in with the natural colour of my skin. In a weird way I like the bruises. It shows people I'm hurting on the outside too. At least it would if I didn't wear my makeup. Maybe one day they'll see the pain on the inside is far worse.

I check out my face from different angles. How bad are the bruises, can I cover them up with concealer? Are there any particularly swollen patches of skin that won't be able to be covered up? Finally I reach the end of my inspection. Nothing I can't cover, it looks like I'll be going to school today. I hate it when the marks are so bad I have to miss school. It always means questions when I finally do go back. And it also means I have to stay at home. With _him, _when he gets home. It means I can't escape him.

At the same time I know the consequences of going to school and letting someone see the marks. If they found out he would be mad. And that would not be worth it. It would never be worth it. I reach over to the tub of concealer, picking it up and wincing as my battered wrist brushes against the edge of my desk. Is it broken? I don't think so, just badly bruised. None the less it still hurts.

_Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse. _The perfect concealer I think to myself. It's probably the thickest available. If you tried to smear as much onto your face with any other brand it would probably just go all weird. It would certainly not cover up all the marks left behind by _him._ It wouldn't cover my bruises.

It hurts as I smear the mousse over my bruises but I don't ever wince. After all these years I've sort of gotten used to it. It's just...a part of life. A horrible part. After I've smeared the make-up over my face I give it a dusting with powder. I look into the mirror, carefully inspecting for bruises. Nothing noticeable.

I walk over to my wardrobe and look over my tiny selection of clothes. Things are better now I have a job, at Newton's. It means I can get out more, get away from him. It's nice to be free, even if their son's unwanted advances bug me to crazy. And the money's nice too. It means I can buy myself a nice top or something, jeans. It means I can get clothes which will cover everything up.

And that's a good thing.

I pull on an old pair of jeans and a long blue t-shirt. I match it with a dark blue hoody.

***

My car dies on the way to school. Excellent, now I'm going to be late for sure. Phil will be so mad if I end up in detention. I could lie and say I'm saying afterschool voluntarily but if he finds out, it will be worse that I lied. And then I'll be sorry.

As I get out of the car the sky opens up and begins so pour. Just my luck. The minute I have to start walking. I look around, blinking though the rain. How far away am I from school? Ten minutes by car. Twenty if I walk, and take short cuts. I'll be soaked by the time I get there. I look in my car for a coat. Nope. Forgot it this morning. Great. More bad luck.

I pull my bag over my shoulder and slam the door shut.

***

By the time I get to school I'm soaked through and shivering. I'm late. I check my watch. Five minutes left of registration or less. My tutor will be mad. The bell goes. Less. I rush to my locker and pull it open. I search for a spare set of clothes; a long sleeved shirt and long leggings. Small enough to cram into the back of my locker for emergencies like this. Which are more common than I'd like.

I rush into the toilets and quickly change my clothes. There's a radiator in the corner of the bathroom. I fold my clothes over it. I'll take my chances with someone stealing them. The school's small enough here it's unlikely one of the girls will take them.

I check my watch. Class started five minutes ago.

I rush out the door smack bang into someone else and go flying.

I lay on the floor, momentarily winded. Someone reaches out a hand and I look up at the person who knocked my over.

_Edward Cullen._

He gasps as he sees my face. I put my hand up and realise. Oh no. The make-up must have washed away in the rain. I pull away from him and scramble into the bathroom.

_Mental note to self: avoid Edward Cullen._

I look into the mirror. Dark marks everywhere. With my wet and un-brushed hair I really look a mess. I quickly redo my make-up. Rushing a little. I'm already late.

As I got to leave I find him waiting outside the door.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I was waiting to talk to you." He replies. I push past him.

"What happened to your face Bella?" He asks.

"I think you're confused." I reply, and continue walking. "My mascara ran, that's all." He snorts.

"I know what I saw." He growls. I spin round.

"And what exactly was that?"

"Your face. It was covered in bruises."

"Well, nobody's going to believe you." I hiss.

"I wasn't going to tell anybody. I just need to know the truth."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" I ask him.

"No." He whispers.

"Well then I hope you enjoy disappointment." I say as I storm off.

By the time I reach my first class I'm fifteen minutes late. The teacher takes in the state of my dishevelled appearance and allows my interruption and lateness. I breathe a sigh of relief. If they'd decided to punish me Phil would have gone crazy.

"**A home is no place to hide, Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels." 'When She Cries' by Britt Nicole.**

As I reach the front door of my house after school I notice my father's car in the driveway. Never a good sign. I wonder what he's doing home so early. A quiet day? Or trouble at work? A beating.

I take a deep breath and open the front door, stepping inside and sealing myself in.

Is this going to be the last time I close the door. Will he finally go too far? I can see his gun and belt hung up by the door. Whatever happens, it won't be quick. No single bullet to my temple. Pity. I look at the gun, considering my options.

"Bella." Should I run? Could I make it? I see his face appear around the corner of the kitchen. Too late. He advances towards me.

I make to run. Fight or flight. He's there within seconds, hands around my throat, pushing me back against the wall, standing on tiptoes in an attempt to keep some oxygen in my body and lessen the effects of Phil's attack.

"So you thought you could run." He hisses menacingly, squeezing his hand on the last word.

I let out a whimper as stars appear before my eyes and the rushing begins in my ears. Just when I think I'm going to pass out he releases his hand, letting me drop to the floor.

"Make me dinner. Whore." And with that he leaves.

I wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes. As I pick myself up off the ground I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the hall mirror. Tangled hair, strands falling limply around my face, smudged make up, bruises creeping through, dark lines down my face where the tears have washed away my makeup. I look a mess. I don't bother fixing my makeup. None of my friends visit here, all far too superficial to actually spend any time with me. And Phil doesn't care.

I limp into the kitchen, my ankle still sore from a previous attack. I need a quick meal. Phil won't like waiting. I open the fridge and take out a packet of beef mince and some vegetables. Immediately I turn on the oven and place a frying pan on top. I pour a little oil into the pan and throw in the mince. I take out another pan and pour in some water and spaghetti. As they cook I pull out a chopping board and a sharp knife. I take a tomato and slice it in half before cutting it into smaller chunks. Once the tomatoes are cut I slide them to the edge of the chopping board before checking on the mince. Using the wooden spatula I slid it around making sure it hasn't stuck to the bottom.

I take an onion and repeat the process, chopping it into smaller chunks than I cut the tomato. I check on the mince again. Almost time to add the vegetables. I take a courgette and slice downwards, cutting through the tip of it, slicing off the end. The edge of the knife brushes against my skin and instead of pulling away I press the knife down harder. It all happens it the fraction of a second. I gasp and pull my finger away. There's quite a bit of blood.

I run over to the tap and switch on the tap. I'm never sure quite why people instinctively do this. It stops the blood clotting and rather than cleaning the wound it actually introduces the possibility for infection a little. Eventually the blood begins to slow. I turn off the tap and wrap my finger in some paper towels. A little blood soaks through. I look at it to inspect it. It's the kind of cut that will open up every time I move my finger. I reach over to the medicine cabinet and take out a plaster and wrap it around my finger, careful to make it as loose as possible as fabric plasters are stretchy and often end up cutting off the circulation to fingers if I do them too tightly.

I smell burning. I gasp and turn to check on the mince. Scrubbing furiously at the pan with the spatula I turn over the mince. It's black on the bottom. I look up at the clock on the wall. It's too late now to cook anything else, Phil will get mad if I take too long. I weigh up my options. Burnt food against slow food.

It's never good to keep him waiting so I decide to try and salvage the mince. I finish slicing the courgette and throw all the vegetables into the pan. I go to the cupboard and open a can of chopped tomatoes into it. I stir it around and wait. The mince is a little burnt but you can't really tell when it's coated in tomato sauce.

As the sauce begins to bubble I take the pan off the heat and switch of the oven. I pour the spaghetti into a colander before serving up the spaghetti on Phil's plate before adding the bolognaise. I grab a knife and fork from the draining board and take it into him. He's sitting in front of the television watching some programme about cars. Phil's never been one for sports. I place the plate on his lap and back away. Once back in the kitchen I serve up my dinner onto a plate and sit down to eat it in the kitchen.

"BELLA!" He yells from the other room. Uh-oh. Never a good sign. _Maybe he just wants a beer...shush Bella, don't worry, it's probably nothing, I doubt he even noticed._

I make my way into the living room. His face is bright red. _Never a good sign._ He launches the plate at my face and I duck my head slightly. The plate smashes against the wall behind me, fracturing into tiny pieces, spaghetti and tomato trailing down the wall like blood. _My blood._

He gets up from the chair and advances towards me. I back up against the wall. I can feel the tomato sauce soaking into the back of my shirt, covering me in patches of red. I feel wet against my head, I brush my hand against the back of my head and check my fingers. Red. Blood or tomatoes? Tomatoes, he hasn't done anything yet. Pretty soon that _will be _myblood.

His hands immediately lock around my neck. He pulls me away from the wall slightly before slamming my head against the wall with amazing force. There are stars in my eyes and a rushing in my ears. If it wasn't for his hand around my throat I wouldn't be upright. He lets go and I collapse to the floor, landing with a heavy thud. I can practically feel the bruises forming.

I feel a sharp kick to my side. I gasp as all breath vanishes from my body. I can't breathe. I gasp again, trying to suck in air. As the pain changes from shock to actual hurt I find myself breathing again, a little fast and out of breath, as if I've been running. I roll onto my back despite the fact that this makes my body and open target rather than protecting it if I curl up in a ball. It's at least easier to breath and right now that's more important.

I feel everything as Phil's weight comes down on my arm, stamping on it with all the force he can muster. I let out a scream at what has to be him breaking my arm. The pain is unbelievable, definitely one of the worst things I've felt. Ever. My vision blurs for a second. I can feel the nausea swelling up in my body.

"Get up!" He yells. I struggle to follow throw with his command and he reaches down and pulls me up by my hair. He aims a vicious punch at my head and the force of the impact causes my head to go slamming into the wall behind me. Two for one. The world goes black.

"**There's a moment in time, And it's stuck in my mind, way back when we were kids, Cause your eyes told the tale, Of an act of betrayal, I knew that somebody did." 'Kristy, are you doing okay?' by The Offspring. **

**A/N: The singer in this chapter, of the record Edward is listening to was born in Illinois in 1880 (21 when Edward was born). She released a song in 1918, the year Edward was transformed called 'Without You.' She performed in Chicago (Edward's hometown). She married FIVE times. She had no children but adopted three. This was all quite rare in 1900s. **

**[Edward's POV]**

Bella. I can't get her off my mind. Am I crazy? To be obsessing about a human girl. _About a human girl whose mind you can't read, who was obviously lying earlier. _My eyesight is better than the average human's. There's no fooling me into thinking those weren't bruises. Who did it to her? Why would anyone want to hurt her, and why is she covering it up.

I get up and pace around. I need something else to focus my attention I can't be obsessing about some human. I get up and walk over to my record player and pull out an old vinyl record. My oldest. The first record I ever heard, ever bought, back in 1918, just after my transformation. Nora Bayes' 'Without You' begins to fill the room.

"_You don't know how very much you mean to me."_

My thoughts drift to Bella and I find myself preoccupied. I remember the way she smelled. So deliciously floral. Freesias. Such a beautiful sent. So fitting for such a beautiful human.

"_If you did I know that you would blame me." _

My thoughts wander to the bruises I saw on her face. Should I confront her about them? She seemed quite defensive and it really isn't my problem. I shouldn't be getting involved with a silly little human. Especially one so difficult, how clearly hates me.

"_Know my love for you I have been showing, my poor heart will not be overflowing. And this too is very difficult to hide. For there's something healthy way inside."_

Does she hate me? I must make sure to conceal my feelings from not only her but the others. Alice and Esme would be overjoyed at me showing an interest in someone, even if that someone was a human. They would get carried away. Rosalie and Jasper would bite my head off for even looking at a human.

"_Without you I could never be so blue without you. I would be gone __from you for__ I cannot not live without you. Without you. I love everything about you."_

What if something happens to her? What's causing those bruises. _Who?_ Should I interfere, protect her?

"_Without you, life would some become a __bryal__ without you. I would soon forget your smile for I love you so dearly I want you to know."_

I remember her face in my head. Such beauty. Despite the ugly marks marring her face. The look of sorrow in her eyes makes my un-beating heart lurch in my chest. I feel very protective of her.

"_Without you, nothing would be worthwhile. Without you dear, the skies would not be blue without you I would soon grow lonesome too, for I cannot live without you."_

When we move I will never see her again. Can I face living without her? I could turn her. No Carlisle would never allow me to turn a healthy human. Ideas run through my head as I think of ways for us to be together. This is stupid, we can never be together. She is a human and I am a vampire. It would never work. She has a long and healthy life ahead of her.

"_I love every little tiny thing about you. For without you my life would life would some become a __bryal__ without you." _

I could make the most of my time with her now. But it would hurt even more when I left. How did I not notice her before now. Her delicious smell.

"_I would soon forget your smile for I love you so dearly I want you to know. Without you, nothing would be worthwhile."_

The song finishes and only crackling can be heard. I walk over and switch off the music, my thoughts racing full of her. I try to distract myself but can't seem to shake the feeling I should be with her. Now. I should go. No. I mustn't get involved. It's too risky. Especially with how delicious she smells.

I jump up from my bed and wander downstairs. Alice and Emmett are watching a movie in front of the television. I sit down in a chair my thoughts still consumed with her.

Emmett turns round and notices my distraction.

"What's got you so worked up. A girl?" He jokes. My head snaps up and my gaze meets his before I can deny it I hear them both gasp.

"A girl!" shrieks Alice. Esme is in the room instantly. Great. Exactly what I didn't want to happen. Carlisle follows Esme in, curious at this change in a hundred years worth of disinterest, mildly curious, and Jasper comes running at the sound of Alice's shriek.

Alice is in front of me leaping up and down.

"Who!" she shrieks.

I brush her off.

"Who said I was interested in a girl?" I ask trying to distract her.

"A guy?" Jokes Emmett. I roll my eyes.

"Who?" Insists Alice.

"Alice, I'm not interested in anyone."

"Yes you are." She shrieks. Can't she tone it down a notch? "I know the signs, distracted, avoiding the question." She gazes into space for a second. I try to read her thoughts but she's blocking me. She gasps and giggles at me.

"What did you see?" I growl. She laughs again.

"Oh Edward! Talk about unrequited love." Emmett laughs and the others join in.

"This isn't funny." I growl.

"So you admit." Asks Alice. Great. There's no way I'm worming my way out of this now.

"Fine. I admit it. Tell me what you saw." I demand. She pauses for a second, deciding whether to tell me.

"You, her, tomorrow before school, the parking lot. She was _not_ happy." She laughs again and I glare at her.

"Come on Edward, it's funny, everyone at school _loves_ you." She says in a sing-song voice dragging out the words. I growl at her and stalk off to my room. Great, now they'll probably tease me for days.

"Who?" I hear Esme ask Alice.

"Bella Swan." I hear her reply. Now _everyone_ knows.

"Swan?" Asks Carlisle and I perk up. He must know her.

"You know her?" Asks Alice.

"Yes, she's in A&E every weekend. Clumsiest person I've ever met. She's actually injured herself _in_ A&E before now, everyone in the department knows her."

Alice giggles a little at the mental image. A regular at the hospital. Would that explain the bruises. _What did she do? Walk into a fist shaped door repeatedly?_

"**I must be a pretty good liar for you to honestly think that everything's alright."**

I wake up, confused and dazed. I'm lying on an insanely hard surface that cannot possibly be my bed. I blink, confused and make out the surface of the living room. What am I doing here?

Suddenly the pain returns and I gasp at the intensity of it, remembering last night's events. He's getting worse. It's only a matter of time before he kills me. My fragile body can only take so many beatings. My hair is matted with sauce and everything hurts.

I roll over crying out at the pain in my arm. I'm going to need today off of school. Should I go to A and E? I try to move it. I can't do it, I can't move it, it's definitely fractured. I look at my watch? It's 7:30 am. Not too early to call someone. I go upstairs to wash my hair and change my clothes, using my good arm. The pain is unbelievable but I can't be seen wearing yesterday's clothes or someone will guess something's up. I put on makeup over my face, spreading it thick enough to cover the bruises. I'm glad it's my left arm he broke not my right.

I grab my phone and call Angela. Jessica and Lauren wouldn't care enough to come to my house. She picks up straight away.

"Hey Bella." She says in her usual cheery voice.

"Hey Angela." I say weakly.

"What did you do?" She asks.

"How did you know?" I reply. She laughs.

"It's the only reason you ever call me so early." She laughs again.

"Broke my arm, could you be here in ten?" I ask.

"Sure." she says.

"Okay, bye." I disconnect the phone and get my bag ready for school. Checking my make-up one last time I run downstairs, careful not to trip and wait for Angela to pull up.

As he cars pulls into the drive I'm already out the door. I'm in the car before she's switched off the engine. She turns around and begins to drive down the country roads towards Forks Community Hospital.

The receptionist recognises me from my numerous visits and smiles warmly.

"What did you do this time?" She says in both a concerned and reprimanding voice.

"Fell over. Again." I smile to try and fake humour at my 'clumsiness'. If only they knew.

I get sent straight to a cubicle. Forks is quiet enough they don't have many people at 7am on a weekday. As I wait, Angela starts talking to me about her relationship with Ben. My thoughts wander to Edward Cullen. The unattainable guy that every girl wants. He _is_ good looking. No. I must stay away. He's close to discovering all my secrets.

Dr Cullen pulls back the curtain.

"Hello Bella." He smiles warmly. "Let's try and get you sorted so you can get to school on time." He has this weird vibe about him...almost as if he knows something I don't. He hasn't guessed has he? No, he seems too calm for that, happy.

Dr Cullen quickly and efficiently checks out my arm, deciding it's broken without the need for an x-ray. He's such an amazing doctor I'm not sure why he'd want to live somewhere like Forks. My arm is wrapped in plaster in amazing speed and I find myself back in the car with Angela before I can blink.

As we're driving Angela starts up a conversation with me.

"So, how's Phil?" She asks. My head snaps round.

"Why do you ask?" I demand. She seems uncomfortable and hesitant.

"N-nothing. It's just...it's only been a few years since your mother died...you never talk about it, I just wanted you to know...I'm here if ever you need me." I relax a little.

"I'm fine Angela, everything's great, Phil's kind enough to look after me, and your right, it's been years." This seems to pacify her. How can she think I'm alright? Am I that good a liar? As I get out of the car I can see Edward Cullen staring at me from across the car park. Angela notices too.

"Looks like he wants to talk to you." She says passively.

I make a non committal reply and she walks towards the school entrance. As she leaves he makes his may over to me. I thought as much, best get this conversation over and done with without prying ears.

"What do you want?" I ask challengingly.

"I just want to talk." He says. He sounds whiny.

"About?" I ask. He seems irritated.

"How did you break your arm?" He asks.

"Fell downstairs." I try to speak as little as possible. Less incriminating and maybe he'll lose interest.

"Uh-huh." He replies.

I take the opportunity of his non committal reply to walk past him. Enough talking for today. I walk up the steps to school carefully and go to find Angela and Lauren. My mind drifts through home room. What kind of mood will Phil be in when I get home? Will he hurt me again? I try to distract myself. It's best not to think about it too much. Deal with it there and then. _Roll with the punches. Literally._

I hear someone calling my name. It's Jessica.

"Did you just hear what I said?" She asks.

"Sorry Jess." I mutter. I don't really care. Probably mumbling on nothing about her on-off again boyfriend Mike.

"I just said Mike asked me to the Spring Dance." She says excitedly.

"Oh wow Jess, that's great." I say with as much fake enthusiasm as I can muster. Only another six hours to endure and then Phil, repeat cycle for the next year and a half. Then I'll be free. I have my mother's trust so I can pay for college. And never come back.


	2. She hides the bruises with the linen and

**A/N: I'm trying to update roughly every week over the weekend (just found out it's NaNoWriMo) but due to midterms I haven't even thought about the chapter after this, so I've held on to this one before updating (which I wrote the same time as last chapter) to try and lessen the gap between chapter. I know this is annoying, when writers hold onto chapters and you're like "I need to read it NOW" but if I don't write for weeks, it is more annoying. Trust me. Hopefully another update in a week and a half. And finally remember how much 4000 words are. It's a lot to write each week. **

**Also, I update as soon as I've started writing the next chapter, so that if I decide to change something I can go back, so if you REVIEW I'll let you have a look at the next chapter (and this next chapter is REALLY good and has an amazing Edward/Bella/Alice moment.)**

"**Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday, She hides the bruises with the linen and lace." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.**

"**I hide every flaw, every feeling, and every insecurity behind makeup and smiles that weren't real."**

I wake up, testing my body. It hurts less than the day before, but that's not a hard feet. I remember Dr Cullen's warning not to get my cast wet and go to find a carrier bag to wrap my arm in. Once it's taped in place I jump in the shower and allow the warm water to sooth my body. It's so calming to stand beneath the warm trickle as it drips down.

I let my thoughts drift back to my mother.

_She giggles. "Oh Bella, don't be silly. It's just water." She says. I scrunch up my nose as I look at the rain pouring down outside. I don't want to go out in the rain. I hate the rain. I hate all cold, wet things. "Bella, we'll be late for school. Come on." She laughs as she tugs at my hand. I stubbornly refuse to go outside. She pulls my hand and I finally run out into the rain. Instead of getting in the car I stand there, tilting my head back and looking straight up at the sky, rain pour down at me, soaking my clothes, dripping down the back of my neck. I look over at my mother who is still laughing. "Oh Bella." I look back up to the sky and open my eyes. I'm back in the shower, water running down my face, mixing with the tears. I shut my eyes again and try to hold onto the memory of her. Her face, laughing as I get wet morphs into something else. Suddenly she's not laughing anymore but crying. We're in the house. She's clutching her stomach. "Oh Belle" She says, "It hurts so bad." I walk towards her to try and reassure her that everything will be okay despite the feeling in my stomach telling me that this isn't going to work out. "Call an ambulance Belle." She says. I reach for the phone and dial. It's too late when they come. She's not crying anymore. _

I open my eyes, tears pouring down my face. I shake my head to try and get rid of the memory and brush my fingers under my eyes. It's too late to dwell on the past.

I step out of the shower and change into my clothes. I pull out another long sleeved shirt and sweater. It's lucky it never gets hot here. Once I'm dressed I walk over to my desk and stare at myself in the mirror. I look a mess, the same as always. I brush my hair up into a ponytail, which is difficult with my arm in a cast.

I take the tub of concealer and apply it everywhere, remembering to check places like the back of my neck for bruises, anywhere that would show. Once I am completely covered I apply a light dusting of brown eye shadow and mascara. Anything to make me look more human and less un-dead.

I grab my school bag and wander downstairs. Angela's picking me up again today because of my broken arm. I look around the living room to see what's out of place. There's still a red stain on the wall. Part blood, mostly tomato. I haven't managed to get it out yet.

As her car pulls up I run out to avoid her stopping or coming in. I never invite anyone here. I jump in a give her one of my trademark fake smiles. Am wait for her to start talking about Ben. Some phone conversation they had last night and how she's not sure how much he likes her, if he likes her as much as she likes him. I don't really care but I like to keep the conversation flowing about the other person, fake interest and keep them talking about themselves rather than me.

"So what did Edward Cullen want?" She asks. I'm thrown. I decide to answer with a half-truth, the easiest to cover up lies.

"He just came to apologise for running me down in the hall the day before." I say simply.

"Oh wow...that's very gentlemanly of him." She says. She seems impressed.

We pull up at school and walk inside together. Lauren and Jessica are talking about the latest movie they want to go see, some new film starring some good-looking actor. _Not as good looking as Edward._ Where did that thought come from. I shake my head to clear it. I have to get him out of my head.

At lunch everyone sits around talking. I don't need to do much, just mumble noncommittally and smile. Fake smile. I'm so good people can't even notice. Not anymore.

What would my mom say if she could see me now? Would she regret marrying Phil, not only because it caused her death ultimately but also because it causes my suffering. If she could go back would she change it? Would she not marry him? What about my father. Charlie. What would he do? Feel a stab of pain at the thought of the father I never had a chance to meet. He was a better man than Phil could ever be.

I'm suddenly aware of the raised voices across the table and try not to flinch. Jessica and Mike are yelling at each other across the table. Apparently she caught him with a cheerleader on the way to lunch, he's yelling back because he overlooked her, last Friday night, making out with a senior at a party. Harsh words are exchanged and the most over used words in their joint vocab are spoken.

"I can't trust you. I never want to see you again."

I let my mind wander, already bored by yet another break-up.

"**Every day's the same, She fights to find her way, She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray." 'When She Cries' by Britt Nicole.**

Lauren and Mike have made up by the end of lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon walking around, hand in hand, gazing adoringly into each other's eyes. As I walk out of cafeteria I can't help but turn round to look at Edward's table.

The five Cullen's are grouped around the small table, all in pairs apart from Edward. Someone says something funny and they all laugh except Edward who scowls at Alice. Curiosity bubbles inside me. I want to know what they're talking about, I want to know what's so funny. Angela calls out may name and I snap back to reality and follow her to afternoon registration.

The rest of the day passes in a blur. As I make my way out to the car-pack to find Angela's car I catch the sight of Alice Cullen waving madly at me. Despite my temptation to walk away from her I find myself pulled in by her. I'm standing in front of her waiting to speak before I can realise what I'm doing, that I've come over to talk to this stranger.

She wraps he arms around me.

"I really hope we can be friends Bella. Best friends." Something about her stops me from telling her that we don't even know each other, that we'll never be friends.

She lets go and I back away slightly.

"Come over to my house." She demands. Slightly aggressively. I shake my head.

"I'm sorry Alice." Angela calls my name and I turn away and walk over to the car.

I'm silent all the way home. It's only when Angela stops the car I realise where we are. Home. So soon. I restrain the sigh threatening to escape my lips and force a smile at Angela.

"Thanks for the lift." I say.

I jump out of the car and run inside. I don't invite her in. I know better than that. Instead I make my way into the kitchen and get started on Phil's dinner. I open the fridge and take out the steak. I decide to grill it. Phil likes his food high in cholesterol. Maybe one day it will kill him. If I'm lucky.

I put the steak under the grill and switch it on to full. While it's cooking I take out a couple of carrots and some potatoes from the cupboard and begin peeling them. Phil will expect a nice home-cooked meal when he gets home and I don't want to upset him.

I throw the peelings in the bin and begin shopping the carrots into slices and put them in a pin, filled with water but don't turn on the over quite yet. I take the potatoes and chop them into small pieces, so that they will cook quicker. I place the potato in another pan and switch it onto full.

I check the steak. It's beginning to change colour. Less red looking and more cooked. The juices from the steak leak out and trickle into the grill pan. Blood trickles into the grill pan. I stare at it. It looks so much like _my blood._

I hear the front door open and keep my attention focused on the cooking. I can hear him as he stomps through the hall and collapses in an armchair. _Boo hoo, must be so hard for him, working all day and then finding the energy to beat me at night. _

I check the steak, it's almost done. I switch on the hob under the carrots. As they begin to boil I take the potatoes off the heat and mash them into lumps before serving them up on his plate. I spoon a few carrots on before adding his steak. I carry it into him. Hopefully they'll be nothing wrong with it tonight.

I place the food down in front of him and back away. I head back into kitchen and eat my dinner. Just as I'm finishing he yells for me to come. I'm stop eating my dinner and walk quickly into the living room. What's wrong?

He motions for me to take his plate. Is that all? I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness it's nothing more serious. Or painful. Just as I reach the edge of the living room he seems to notice my cast for the first time.

"Where did you get that?" He asks menacingly. Getting up out of his chair and advancing towards me.

"I-I went to A&E." I whisper, afraid.

"What did I tell you about letting other interfere in my life you _stupid_ girl."

I step back afraid. Nothing I can say will lessen his again. It's too late now.

"Please. I'm so sorry."

He launches himself at me and wraps his hands around my throat. I'm suffocating. He presses down on my throat much harder than normal. It's almost as if he's actually trying to kill me this time. The black spots before my eyes merge into black patches as the world begins to dim. The rushing in my ears is almost deafening. I try to breath. No air comes in. I raise my arms, no longer attached to my rational brain and begin clawing at his face. I need air. I need oxygen. The black patches are taking over my entire vision. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. No air. I gasp trying to suck in anything but there's nothing. His hands are securely wrapped around my throat.

I whisper and beg in my head. _Please, someone, anyone, save me. Don't let me die. Not now, not when there's such little time left until I leave. Please let me live. If there's a god or anything out there don't let this be the end of me. Don't let him kill me. Not in my parent's house, not now. _

I try to suck in one last breath but the world fades and sucks me under.

"**I knew something was wrong, And I should have spoke out. And I'm sorry now, I didn't know, Cause we were so young." 'Kristy, are you doing okay?' by The Offspring.**

**[Edward's POV] **

I spent the whole night thinking about her. Again. I can't get her off my mind. The others can see I'm distracted by her and tease me about it. Especially Emmett. Alice and Esme are overly excited. They treat it like some seventeenth century romance. _There are no vampires in romances, on horrors. _As I enter the school my head is filled with the thoughts of the other students around me.

_Bella's not here, I wonder what's wrong with her. _Suddenly I'm filled with concern. What happened? Is she sick? Hurt? Not hurt. How could I let something happen to her? I should have been there, watching over her, making sure she didn't get into any harm.

_She sounded weird on the phone._ I pay more attention at the sound of Angela Webber's voice. She's the closest human to Bella, from what I can judge.

_Maybe she's really sick. Should I go round her house afterschool? No, she told me not to._ That's weird, Bella telling her closest friend not to visit. My thoughts are preoccupied with her. I know I should stay out of it, I know I shouldn't interfere but for the rest of the day I find myself listening to the thoughts of others to try and patch together a story.

By the end of the day there are more rumours in my head than truths. From what I can patch together and validate; I seriously doubt Bella has been abducted by Aliens, she rang Angela to say she wouldn't be coming into school today because she had some sort of stomach bug.

How sick is she? Is it something more serious? Appendicitis? I walk out to the car where the others are already waiting. Rosalie has a bored look on her face while Emmett seems over excited. I turn to look at Alice and notice the slightly guilty look on her face.

"What did you do?" I growl. Alice backs up against the car even though she knows I wouldn't hurt her. _Not in front of witnesses at least._ Jasper moves in front of her. "What did you do!" I growl again.

"Alice asked your little human round for dinner." Says Rosalie in a bored voice.

"We can share." Jokes Emmett but I growl at him, not seeing the funny side.

"It's okay," says Alice, "She said no, you can hide away from her as much as you like."

I growl one last time before unlocking the car and getting inside. On the way home I drive much too fast. Rosalie complains the whole journey home while Emmett makes comments about Bella. By the time we pull up at the house I've had enough of their comments. And _thoughts. _As I step out of the car I run off into the woods. None of them could follow me even if they wanted to. I'm the fastest in our little family.

I running as the trees blur past me. Eventually I come to a clearing. There's a waterfall at one end a tiny flowers decorating the glass. It looks like something out of Alice's imagination. It looks unreal. The scent of Freesias drift under my nose and my thoughts drift back to Bella.

I know it's wrong but I have to find out what's wrong with her. I go to her house and climb up in the tree outside her house and try to peak in the window. Is this Bella's room? I can't hear her thoughts so I have no way of knowing whether she's in. I concentrate hard. I can hear the flutter of a human heart coming from inside the room, and I can't hear the thoughts of whoever it is so unless they have the same freaky mind blocking thing it must be her.

The curtains are open. I try to get a better look inside her room. I can make out the shape of someone lying in the bed. She must be sick, that's why she's off school. No need for me to worry. No need for me to come and spy on her. Like some creepy stalker. I'm about to leave when I'm distracted by movement inside her room. Like an addict I can't get enough of her.

She gets up from the bed and all I can see I her back. She's wearing some sort of slowing dressing gown that seems too big for her and covers up every inch of skin. I suck in my breath at the beautiful sight of her. I can't look away.

She turns around and I'm rooted to the spot. Her face is _covered_ in dark marks and bruise. Mostly very recent judging from their colour. I'm horrified. How could anyone hurt Bella. There are finger marks around her neck. It's very obvious someone tried to strangle her. I'm not sure what to do part of me wants to confront her, rescue her. The other half of me says I should go to Carlisle and ask for advice. He'll know what to do.

I jump down from the tree before she can notice me up there. I have to find Carlisle and ask what to do. I'm reluctant to leave Bella alone. Whoever did this might come back. I make the decision to go find Carlisle. I can't deal with this on my own, I'm going to need his help.

I run back to our house and shout for Carlisle. He's there in a second, sensing my concern. Thank goodness he's home. I wouldn't want to disturb him at the hospital.

"It's Bella." I hear myself say. "I think someone's hurting her."

"**Yes I think I'm okay, I walked into the door again, Well, if you ask that's what I'll say, And it's not your business anyway. Just don't ask me how I am." 'Luka' by Suzanna Vega.**

**A/N: Just in case you get confused the italics are Edward's POV when he was talking to Carlisle (in between the previous section and this one. Also the 'say it, out loud' chunk of dialogue is from the book, slightly edited.**

I'm dreading going to school. The first day after I've been off sick is always the worst. Not only do I have to fake a note from Phil but I have to lie to everyone. Explain why I was off sick.

I cover myself in makeup once again. I can't actually remember the last time I went to school makeup free. How long after my mom died did this become a daily ritual? I look in the mirror at myself once I'm finished. I look a little pale but I can pass that off as being sick still. A grab a scarf from the cupboard and wrap it around my neck. Even my makeup can't completely cover the bruises marking my neck. I check to see if anything shows but nothing does. I'm all set for school.

I grab my bag and go wait on the stairs for Angela. I stare at the plaster cast on my arm and flex my fingers, wincing as pain shoots through my arm. I make a mental note never to do that again, at least until the cast is ready to come off.

I can make out the sound of Angela's car and I'm out the door instantly, waiting for her to stop the car so I can get in. The drive to school is quiet. We're almost there when Angela begins to talk.

"I'm glad you're feeling better today." Angela says. I smile at her and thank her but don't make conversation. Silence fills the car again. We arrive at school and I get out of the car, waving goodbye to her with my good arm. I don't really want to talk to Angela. She can tell something's wrong. So I'll just avoid her.

As I walk in through the main entrance I see Edward Cullen leaning against my locker. I walk over to him, with the most venomous look I can.

"_It's Bella." I hear myself say. "I think someone's hurting her."_

"_Bella?" He asks._

"What happened to you?" He asks before I can open my mouth to give him a hateful 'go away'. I look self consciously down at me to see if anything shows. Nope.

"Nothing." One word. Monosyllabic. So very little meaning he can get from it.

"_Her father. I think her father's hurting her."_

"_She doesn't live with her father." Comes a voice from behind me. Alice. I spin round and grab her by the shoulders._

"What's up with the scarf?" Okay, so now I know something's up. It's not _that_ weird to wear a scarf. This is Forks after all, it rains a lot.

"It's...cold..." I say very slowly, drawing out the words.

"Bella..." He's looking at me with pity in his eyes. He knows something's up.

"_What? Who does she live with?" I ask._

"_Her stepfather. It's really quite sad. Her father died when she was a baby, and her mother died a few years back."_

_Stepfather. That must be it. He must resent her or something. I turn back to Carlisle. _

"What?" I demand aggressively, brushing him aside and opening my locker. I have to get out of this somehow.

"Bella..." He says. "I know." Two little words. "I know what he's doing"

"_How bad is it." Carlisle asks._

"_She didn't come to school today. It looks as if someone tried to strangle her. As if someone tried to kill her."_

_Alice gasps. _

"Say it. Out loud. Say it."

"He hurts you."

"_What did you see?" I demand. _

"_N-nothing." She whispers, afraid. "I can't see her future, I guess it's too dependent on his temper and her spur of the moment decisions." I growl at her._

"Are you afraid of him?"

"No."

"_What do I do?" I ask Carlisle._

"_We can't force this Edward. Bella has to come to us. We can't take her." He turns to Alice, "How much time can you give us if anything happens?"_

_She concentrates hard. "Ummm...ten minutes maybe."_

_I sigh. That's not enough time if something happens. _

"Then let me ask the most basic question. What will you do?"

"_Edward, try to get her to talk to you. Beyond that there is very little we can do. We cannot go around making accusations no matter how justified."_

_I want to argue with Carlisle but I know he's right. There's nothing I can do._

"I won't hurt you."


	3. Its hard to see the pain behind the mask

**A/Ns:**

**REVIEW!!! **

**I HAVE NO BETA so while I apologise for any typos, I do write 4000 words a week (normally) which is pretty impressive. Also if you REVIEW I'll give you a sneak peak of the next chapter...**

**Also, sorry for getting it out so late...I blame a lack of reviews, which doesn't exactly inspire me, I know there are a lot of Concrete Angel stories out there but I swear, that this is good, and unlike the others Edward doesn't exactly save the day...(although I'm sure you'll still like it).**

**And also, someone anonymously reviewed my story Sundown twice for two different chapters to ****say it sucked****; if you didn't like it why carry on reading until the last chapter; it was 30,000 words.**

**3. "The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask, It's hard to see the pain behind the mask." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.**

"**Alyssa lies to the classroom, Alyssa lies everyday at school, Alyssa lies to the teachers as she tries to cover every bruise." 'Alyssa Lies' by Jason Michael Carroll.**

"It's nothing." I tell him. "You don't know anything." _He can't know anything, how could he know, apart from those marks he saw the first time, and they don't prove anything, they're just bruises, he can't know who did them. _

"I know everything." He tells me. I shake my head, angry now. "I_ saw_ everything." _I could say that I got mugged. Phil would still be mad that Edward knew but not as mad as if everyone knew. That's what I'll do, I'll say that I got mugged._

"How?" I challenge him. Whatever he thinks her knows is surely just assumptions. He can't know for real. _He doesn't know anything, don't worry. Your secret is safe, you're safe. No one else can hurt you. _

"I saw you. In your room. I saw the marks on your neck."

"You must have been confused." I tell him. _He spied on me? In my room? Does he often spy on me? I'm creeped out and flattered at the same time. _

"Oh really?" He asks challengingly. There's a threat in his voice. Like Phil.

He has this menacing look in his eyes and it gives me this really creepy feeling in my stomach. The same as when Phil looks at me and I know what he's about to do. I'm about to back away, end this argument and put it off for another day when he reaches up and grabs my scarf, ripping it away from my neck.

At the same moment a tiny ball of jet black energy barrels into me, sweeping me off my feet and pushing me into the bathroom. I'm gasping for breath and in shock when someone sets me down on my feet. I look up at my rescuer. Alice Cullen.

"I didn't think you'd want anyone to know." She says. She reaches up from around her own neck and unwinds a satin scarf and delicately wraps it around mine.

She smiles at me. "No one can tell." She says. She has this reassuring quality about her, I trust her somehow. And I don't trust many people.

I don't know what to say, I don't know how to thank her. She has literally saved my life. _If Phil knew._ I shudder, it's not even worth thinking about._ Don't worry about the immediate future. Look to the long term. One day you'll be free._

"If you want to talk..." She says. She's unusually restrained. Normally she's a fiery bundle of energy.

_He launches himself at me and wraps his hands around my throat. I'm suffocating. He presses down on my throat much harder than normal. It's almost as if he's actually trying to kill me this time._

I shake my head. The last person I want to talk to is another Cullen. Even if Alice just saved me. Not only humiliation wise but also from the fate of Phil. I wonder if Edward told her, I wonder how much she knows. The more I think about it the more obvious it becomes that he must have told her. Has he told anyone else? Anyone that might mention it to Phil?

_The black spots before my eyes merge into black patches as the world begins to dim. The rushing in my ears is almost deafening. I try to breath. No air comes in. I raise my arms, no longer attached to my rational brain and begin clawing at his face. I need air. I need oxygen._

"You know..." She says, "My life wasn't so great either, before Esme and Carlisle." Why is she telling me this? "Before they took me in my parents...my _birth_ parents...they put me in an asylum. They didn't want me, they pretended I was dead." I'm shocked. Why would anyone ever do that to Alice? She's so perfect and lovely.

_The black patches are taking over my entire vision. I feel dizzy. I can't breathe. No air. I gasp trying to suck in anything but there's nothing. His hands are securely wrapped around my throat. _

"Why...?" I ask.

"I...I'm different. I have this...gift. My parents didn't understand. They didn't want a child like that."

Poor Alice, it's hard to imagine anything bad ever happening to her, looking at her now in her perfect designer clothes and shiny cars. Alice and her perfect life.

_I whisper and beg in my head. 'Please, someone, anyone, save me. Don't let me die. Not now, not when there's such little time left until I leave. Please let me live. If there's a god or anything out there don't let this be the end of me. Don't let him kill me. Not in my parent's house, not now'. _

"If you want to talk..." She says, "I'm _always_ here. Day or night. I don't sleep much anyway." She laughs to herself at some sort of private joke.

"Thanks...Alice." I say. "But...I'm fine. There's nothing wrong." She raises her perfect eyebrow and gestures towards my neck. "I fell over." I say, but as the words come out they're lacking their usual strength. It doesn't sound believable.

_I try to suck in one last breath but the world fades and sucks me under._

"Alice," I say, "I don't know what you and your brother think you say but you're mistaken. Everything's fine. Everything's perfect."

She shakes her head and reaches out a hand. I flinch back at how cold it is and she drops it to her side guiltily. Maybe Alice Cullen has secrets too. I wonder what they might be for a few seconds. Drugs? Eating disorder? She's thin enough for both. I shake my head. Now's not the time to be getting caught up in other people's problems. I have enough of my own to deal with.

She looks like she want to say something, something else, but I've had enough. I can't deal with her today; I can't deal with anymore Cullens today. I grab my bag, check my reflection once in the mirror and walk out.

"**She wonders why, Does anyone ever hear her when she cries?" 'When She Cries' by Britt Nicole.**

I'm almost in pieces when I walk in through the door. Phil's car isn't here which means he's not home already. I breathe a sigh of relief. I dump my bag by the door and walk on through to the kitchen. There's a note stuck to the fridge with a magnet.

_Gone out with James and Laurent._

Great, drinking binge with his poker buddies. That normally means when he gets home he's especially angry. Should I hide under the bed? In the attic? _Attic seems like a good place_.

I let out a sob. He's going to be so angry when he gets home.

I go up to the bathroom and shut the door. I can make the most of the bathroom if he's not going to be home until late. I turn on the tap and let the warm water from into the bath.

The noise soothes me.

I think back to Alice at school. Her voice held so much pain. I let out a sob. Edward knows and Alice knows. They both know. They'll tell someone. Phil will be so mad. I start crying more heavily.

I pull myself up from the bathroom floor and switch off the tap. I bath is full up to the top, almost over flowing. I dip my hand into the water to test the temperature. It's blisteringly hot and my fingers turn bright pink as I pull them out of the water.

I strip off my clothes and inspect my body in the mirror. As if by an unwritten rule Phil almost never hits my face. The bruises on my face are almost gone now, barely the hint of yellow left. My ankle is still swollen, the purple bruises around it less purple and more faded than before. My ribs are covered in a large dark purple bruise, still with the edge of pink surrounding it and there are numerous bruises on my legs and arms, each in varying stages of fading. The worst is around my neck, his favourite place. There are dark purple finger-marks to faded yellow ones. Layered on top of each other, it looks awful. I wrap my arm in a the plastic bag I left by the door and stick a layer of tape around the edge to make it slightly waterproof.

I step into the bath. The hot water stings my skin but I don't pull back from it. Sinking into the water I let it cover me until my face is only just above water. The warm water burns slightly at my skin. It feels almost...pleasant. Almost soothing, easing the aches and pains. I hang my injured arm over the edge of the bath to keep it dry. The warm water soothes me. Taking a small breath I push my head under the water.

Keeping my eyes open I let out a few bubbles of air. Watching from under the water everything seems so calm, quiet...safe. Letting out more air bubbles I stare up at the ceiling. Everything seems so quiet, the noise distorted under water. I let out more bubbles the last of my air supply. I can feel my chest beginning to get tights, as it desperately begs for oxygen. I keep holding my breath savouring the feeling of being underwater. The pain is almost gone from my body as the water soothes it. My lungs burst and I suck in a gulp of water. Coughing and spluttering I burst through the water, struggling for air.

Finally my breathing begins to settle. I check the plaster cast. Still dry. Only a few splashes of water seem to have hit the plastic bag. I flex my hand to test for pain and wince. Less than before but it still hurts. It feels good though. To hurt myself, _myself._ Not someone else hurting me. Looking around the bathroom I see a pair of hair dressing scissors. I'm not sure why we have them, neither of us cut our own hair. Phil doesn't have any to cut. _This is wrong._

I pull the scissors up to my arm open blade against the wet fragile skin. There's a fading bruises next to the tip of the scissors. I press down with the scissors pulling them back across my skin. It stings slightly but it's nothing. Nothing compared to Phil.

I pull the scissors away and look at the skin. There's a thin angry looking line turning gradually more pink, which has just about broken the skin. No blood. Pressing the tip against the start of the cut I drag the scissors across my wrist again, pressing harder this time. It hurts but there's this numbing feeling, there's something about the pain, as if it doesn't really hurt. A trickle of blood wells up and starts dripping down my arm. It mixes my the water, spreading out like and ink-stain and dripping into the water. Endorphins hit me as I feel a rush of...calm. Peaceful. I like this feeling.

Suddenly I realise what I've done. _What have I done?_ This is wrong. What if someone sees me. Phil will go mad. I clean the blades of the scissors and put them back where I found them, on the edge of the bath. _This was a mistake, a one off mistake, it won't happen again. _

Getting out of the bath I wrap myself in a towel and pull off the tape from my arm. I leave the plastic bag next to the bath for the next time I'll need it. I empty the bath and go into my bed room. I shut the door and sit down on the floor behind it, crying noisily. I regret it so much now, even though it felt so good at the time. The rush of endorphins are fading and guilt replaces the feeling of calm.

I curl up into a ball on the floor. How come no one ever hears me crying?

"**How can you expect to be rescued, If you never let anyone know you're in danger?"**

I reach my arm out and swat the alarm clock as it rings incessantly. Phil didn't come home last night, at least not that I heard. Either he's still out or he came home late and won't appreciate being woken. I wonder what he did last night. Did he play poker with the guys? Did he win any money? I hope he did. If he didn't he'll be really angry tonight.

I quickly rush to get ready, not bothering to shower, skipping breakfast and rushing as quietly as possible out of the house, desperate to avoid Phil should he be in and I race to school. As I pull into the parking lot I see Edward standing there by his car. Waiting for me. He has an angry look on his face, utter, burning rage. It scares me and reminds me of Phil.

I get out of the car, ignoring him and pull my bag across my shoulder. Slamming the car door shut I head towards the main entrance of the school. Edward catches up with me as I pass him and pulls me aside, shoving me against his car. I'm amazed how strong he is. I look up into his eyes and stare defiantly.

"What do you want?" I ask angrily.

"I want to _help _you. Why do you have to make everything so damn difficult?" His grip on my arm is becoming tighter, hurting.

"I don't need your _help_." I let out a gasp as he grips my arm tighter. Immediately he drops his grip.

"Oh god, Bella, I'm so sorry." I push past him, rushing into the girls toilets, passing people in the hallway. I doubt bother to try and hide myself or conceal my tears. Going into a cubical I slam the door shut. I pull down the lid and sit down on the toilet. I roll up my sleeve and look at my arm where Edward grabbed me. There's a dark purple bruise beginning to form. I touch it gently with my finger. It hurts. I'm so angry with him for hurting me like this. I let out a sob.

I lift my arm as if to stop the tears from falling. What's wrong with me? That I can't seem to stop crying at the moment? I don't know what to do; I don't know how to make it right. I'm not sure I can manage until the end of summer, until I leave for University. Will I even last 'til summer with Phil like he is now?

What would my mom think if she could see me now? _See what she's done to me; see what she left me with._ What would she do if she could see just how much he hurt me? Would she change the past? I curse her slightly. I know there's nothing she can do for me now. If she was still here would she side with Phil or would he hurt her too?

Brushing away the tears starting to fall I notice the cut on my arm. I remember how good it felt to do it. Staring at my wrist I'm lost in how good it felt. Overcome by anger at Phil, Edward, my mother for leaving me with him, I start frantically scratching at my wrist. I don't even realise what I'm doing until the blood starts oozing though my skin. Finally calm I take a deep breath. And then the pain comes. More stinging than actual pain. Not really hurt more of a burning sensation. Despite the hurt it feels good.

I cry more. I'm so lost. So hurt. No one there to save me. Why is there never anyone there to save me? I curl up into a ball on the floor of the school toilets. How come no one ever hears me crying?

I hear the door open.

"Bella?" Oh no, it's Alice. I try to stop crying but I can't. "Bella, let me in please."

I pull down my sleeve to cover my arm and open the door to let her in. I never once consider not letting her in. She has this magical ability to persuade me to do things I don't want to do. It's a tight fit, but she's so impossibly tiny she squeezes in. She turns to face me and reaches out a cold hand to brush away the tears dripping down my check.

"Shush honey." She says in her high pitch voice. "Don't cry." I sob louder and she pulls me tight against her. Despite the shock of how cold she is I find myself sinking into her.

"Tell me what's wrong." She says, "Tell me everything."

I shake my head and sob louder.

"I can't." I cry.

"Bella, please...trust me." I can't, I can't do it after all the years of abuse from Phil. I trusted him. And he betrayed me.

"Bella, please." She says. "How can you expect to be rescued if you never let anyone know you're hurting?"

I sob loudly and shake my head. I can't tell her anything.

"Bella." She says, as she reaches out a hand to my arm. She brushes it directly over my jumper, where my brand new marks lie below. "Don't do it anymore." She says. She looks me directly in the eyes. _She knows_.

"**I'm not alright, I'm broken inside." I'm Not Alright - Sanctus Real.**

I stay with Alice on the floor of the bathroom for ages. Just talking, telling her everything. It just pours out of me. Every secret I've ever had. Everything Phil's ever done, all the hurt, all the anger. Everything.

She sits there, quietly reassuring me, offering her support. It means everything to me. It makes me feel...better.

I hear the school bell ring, signalling the start of registration. I pull away from Alice and stand up, sorting myself into composure. Wiping away any remaining tears from my eyes I walk out of the cubicle and stand in front of the mirror. My face is only a little puffy. I straighten out my clothes and reach inside my bag for my make up. I can feel Alice's presence behind me.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Yes." I reply simply. I'm deadly calm now, no trace of emotion in my body. I pull out the foundation, dabbing it under my eyes, on my cheeks...everywhere.

"Bella," She says. "What happened..." I ignore her.

I take the eye shadow from my beg and sweep dark brown across my eyelids.

"Bella...I...Edward is really worried about you." I snap my head round.

"Don't tell him." I whisper.

"Bella..." She grabs hold of my arm but I pull away.

"Don't tell him." More forceful this time.

She shakes her head at me; as if she doesn't know what to do with me. I turn away and check my appearance in the mirror.

"I'm fine." I say. "Everything's fine."

***

The day passes slowly. I get stares from the Cullen's at lunch, Alice and Edward huddled together, whispering furiously to each other. I avoid their looks and listen to Jessica mumbling on about some gossip that happened.

I get home to find Phil waiting for me. He's standing in the hall way with an angry look on his face. He must have heard me pull up in my car. _Why is he home so early? _I drop my bad by the door and turn to face him. _Show no fear._

"Why are you home so early?" I ask. I can smell the whisky from here.

He reaches forward and slaps me across the face. I flinch but don't stumble. Looking back up at him, almost defiantly I wait for his response.

"I got a call from your teacher today." I spits. "You missed registration."

I say nothing. I can't lie. I can't make excuses. I'm back into a corner.

"Well?" He demands.

"I'm sorry." I say but I'm cut off by a punch to my chest, winding me, making me unable to breath temporarily. I gasp for air, as the pain numbs my body.

"You worthless bitch!" He yells. "I do _everything_ for you and you can't even go to bloody school."

He pushes me back and I trip, falling flat onto the floor behind me. I look up at him in fear.

"I have more important things to deal with than a worthless _brat._" He aims a vicious kick at my head and mercifully the world goes black.

***

In the few seconds as I start to wake I'm swallowed by confusion. The surface under me is hard and light is streaming in from somewhere. Did I fall out of bed?

The pain returns to my body and I remember. I open my eyes and look around. It's quiet so either Phil's out or passed out drunk. I pull myself up and climb the stairs to my bedroom. Once inside I turn the bolt to lock the door in an attempt to keep Phil out should he come back from wherever he is.

Overwhelming sadness and frustration overwhelms me. I need something to calm me down. An idea flickers through my head. I go to the bathroom and grab the scissors. Coming back into my room I relock the door and slide down to the floor.

I stare at the scissors in my hand. They glint in the light. Opening the blades and turning one towards me I pull up the hem of my shirt. Pressing the tip of the blade to my stomach I draw a line across my stomach. The thin lines rises up and turns angry pink. I pull it across my skin again drawing more blood to the surface.

"_Tell me what's wrong." "Tell me everything." _

I pull it across my stomach again, a different line this time, it cuts through the other one, blood oozing up to the surface.

"_Bella, please...trust me." _

I drag it across again, hissing as it stings, the pain quickly replaced by a dull, calmer feeling.

"_Bella, please." "How can you expect to be rescued if you never let anyone know you're hurting?"_

I pull it across my stomach again at the memories. Alice was wrong. Alice doesn't know anything.

"_You worthless bitch!" _

Anger bubbles up inside of me.

"_I do everything for you and you can't even go to bloody school." "I have more important things to deal with than a worthless brat."_

I pull the scissors away from my skin slightly which is now criss-crossed with angry red marks and plunge the scissors into my stomach, gasping in pain as it cuts easily through my skin. I began to feel increasingly dizzy. I look down at the cut on my stomach which is bleeding quite a bit.

"_I'm fine." "Everything's fine."_

I grab at-shirt and hold it to my stomach in an attempt to stem the blood. There's too much blood. _So much blood._ I feel dizzy from the smell of it. I never was good with blood. I apply more pressure as the red starts to seep through my shirt. _Too deep. _

I don't know what to do. It's bleeding too much. I try to think through the first aid cabinet in the bathroom, remembering what we have. There are steri-strips in the bathroom and bandages from the times when Phil's caused me to cut myself badly on something.

Opening my door I drag myself to the bathroom and grab the first aid supplies. I'm almost about to pass out from the blood, not just the amount coming from my stomach but he smell of it.

I stick six steri strips across the wound which does little to stem the blood flow. Grabbing my shirt I hold it back against my stomach and try to remember health class. _Two bandages people! If it leaks through take them both off and start again, better yet have someone else do it as you probably messed it up in the first place! Now lay your casualty down and elevate the injured part. _I remember my health teacher's words and lie down on the bed. The pain in my stomach is intense but the feelings of anger and sadness have almost gone. For the moment I can't bring myself to regret this decision.

**A/N: I always put a little or a lot of myself into each of the main characters as well as researching the stuff I write about, so the places in my stories are always real places etc. A lot of the stuff I get from myself, friends or research, so please don't tell me that my stories aren't realistic or that a character wouldn't have felt or acted like that, I promise you the probably would have, for a lot of people this story is real for them in every way (except the vampires).**


	4. Bearing the burden of a secret storm

**4. "Bearing the burden of a secret storm, Sometimes she wishes she was never born." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.**

**A/N: I'm really sorry I haven't written for a while, I did promise I'd update weekly and that reviews would get sneak peeks. I'm trying to get on top of that so sorry...the reason for no sneak peeks was the same as why there were no updates...I hadn't written anything. So sorry if the next few chapters are shorter (I'm halving the word limit) but I'm going to try and update fortnightly (or sooner) depending on when I write the chapters. **

**Also there's no swearing or overly coarse language in my story which may not be realistic but keeps the rating down.**

**And finally, for those friends of mine who tracked me down and I BEGGED not to read this. One final request; please stop reading now. :) **

"**You'd never guess a girl so happy on the outside, is breaking down on the inside. A girl who laughs her head off every day in school, you'd never guess she's covering up, the million tears behind her smile."**

I wake up groggy and confused. I'm lying on a hard surface and my body aches. I stretch slightly, testing my body and wince. Pain fills my muscles. Not just from what was apparently a night on the floor; judging from the light streaming in the window, but also from the injuries that were not just inflicted by Phil. I let myself remember last night. Was it a mistake? I don't feel that bad about it? I regret it slightly but it felt...good. I needed it.

I sit up slowly, waiting for the dizziness that often accompanies the morning after but it clears quickly. My back is stiff and uncomfortable and my legs are a little numb where I've been lying awkwardly on the floor. I probably looks a mess. My hair is almost certainly all knotted and mussed up.

Leaning again the door I pull up the hem of my shirt which, thankfully hasn't stuck to the main wound. I'm grateful for small mercies. I pull it up slowly, pausing every now and then to gently pull it away from one of the minor cuts it's stuck to, which were still bleeding when I passed out or fell asleep. The mild burning sensation that quickly fades as I pull the shirt away from each cut.

The angry red lines don't look too bad in the morning's light, already beginning to heal slightly, a scab forming over each of them. Blood is oozing out a little from under the scabs that were broken when I pulled off my shirt. The deep wound just bellow my belly button is red and swollen. It seems to be leaking and hurts a lot.

I slowly peel off the steri-strips I covered it with last night and inspect the wound. It's only a few centimetres wide, not very bad, but I can tell its deep by the way it opens up again when I press the skin around the cut or move. It hurts more than anything and this greeny-yellowy liquid oozes out from it. It looks a little infected.

I ease myself up off the ground, using the sink to pull me up and open the medicine cabinet. It's a good thing I keep it well stocked, practically my own little pharmacy, or i could be in real trouble at a time like this.

I search around for the Detol antiseptic liquid. I quickly find the bottle and turn it over to read the instructions on the back. _Dilute with water._ Ignoring the instructions I quickly unscrew the lid and grab a wad of toilet paper. _This is gonna hurt. _I sit back down on the floor and close my eyes and take in a deep breath to calm myself. Tilting the bottle I begin to pour the liquid over my stomach. It takes every inch of my willpower not to flinch away or scream. All my muscles are tensed. I concentrate on breathing. Slowly in, slowly out. The pain recedes slightly. The next bit is going to hurt just as bad.

Taking the toilet paper I begin to press down at the area surrounding the stab wound. It hasn't healed properly because it breaks open every time I move so I don't have to worry about cleaning the wound. Brushing around the edge of the wound, sweeping into the middle, I squeeze the pus out through the opening. Pus? Wiping away the green pus I pour more Detol onto my stomach. I repeat this until I'm finally satisfied it's at least clean and dry. _Clearer and dry._ I really should be seeing a doctor about this. I go to the cupboard and grab one of the extra large plasters and stick it over the wound. Hopefully it won't leak out through my t-shirt at school._ What would people think? What would Edward think?_

I go and stand in front of the mirror. I was right earlier, I do look a mess. My hair is all tangled and my eyes look a little red. While Phil's injuries are healing the self-inflicted injuries look terrible. I look a mess, my stomach is a criss-crossed and the giant plaster on my stomach doesn't hide my injury.

I check the time on my watch. I have ten minutes before I need to leave for school or else I'll be late and I'm sure I'll _really_ regret that if Phil finds out. I take a minute to wonder where he is. He obviously hasn't tried to use the bathroom so he's probably crashed out at one of his friend's place. Or a girl's. Panic flares through me like a wave and quickly fades. I can't be late, I have to get ready. There's no time for a shower so I run a brush through my hair, hurriedly apply my concealor and foundation, and change into a fresh, unstained t-shirt before grabbing my bag and making a run for the door.

I notice Phil's car in the driveway. If he hasn't left yet he's going to be late, for sure. I don't really want to deal with him is someone comments on his lateness. I could ring his mobile, very risky as he'll definitely blame me. He's late anyway so he'll blame me regardless, no point in worrying about it now. I get into my car and drive to school.

**A/N: This isn't proper first aid, if you find yourself in this situation, and I really hope you don't, the best thing is to go to your doctor's or A&E and lie your way out as clumsy. A doctor can only stitch you back up unless you say anything (and I strongly advise you do).**

"**How could they act like everything is alright? She's pulling down her long sleeves, To cover all the memories that scars leave." 'When She Cries' by Britt Nicole.**

I get to school just in time to see Edward waiting for me on the steps. My own personal stalker. Doesn't he have better things to do than rush around terrorising me? _He doesn't know anything, he doesn't know what you did last night, there's no way he can tell, he can't exactly see through your shirt. _Swallowing my fear I finally remind myself that he is not Phil and that he won't hurt me...this time.

Taking in a deep breath I grab my bag and step out of the car. I walk towards the front steps, deliberately not going to meet him. Defying his over-protectiveness by glaring at his as I walk so that he doesn't mistake our little chats for friendship. I stop walking when I reach him, coming to stand next to him, but I don't drop my confrontational attitude. I cut straight to the heart of it, no polite conversation for us.

"What do you want?" I ask him aggressively. After everything he's done to me he's doesn't really deserve my politeness.

"Alice is worried about you." He replies quietly, his voice lacking any trace of emotion.

"Alice should mind her own." I say. "What do _you _want?" If Alice has a problem with me she should come to me herself.

"I want to help you." He says. This guy has way too much angst.

"I don't need help from you or anyone else." I tell him.

He sniffs the air suddenly as if catching the scent of something that's leaving only a trace in the fresh air. He looks down at my stomach and his eyes narrow. My heart skips a beat. _He can't know, can he? I covered it up with a plaster and you can't make it out beneath my loose t-shirt._ I decide I don't really want to find out whether he knows or not.

I turn to leave but he pulls me back and I flinch away instinctively. Recognising his mistake he pulls his hand away and drops it to his side. He looks so guilty. I want to tell him I only flinched on instinct but I don't owe him anything.

"I'm really sorry you know. About yesterday...I...I'm not normally like that." He winces.

"I know Edward." I say. I can't say anything else.

He looks up, staring into my eyes as if searching my soul. Finally he blinks and looks away, back down at my stomach. I can feel my cheeks burning guiltily. He looks back up at my eyes and _I know, he knows_. He reaches out a hand and places it under my shirt, against my stomach on top of the plaster. I'm stuck by just how cold his hand it. His circulation is so bad it's almost as if there's no blood in his hand at all. The coolness from his hand eases the pain and burning in my stomach. It feels good. I could stay like this forever.

Finally he breaks the silence.

"Alice asked me to tell you to stop. She says it hurts her too." He tells me.

I look down at the floor guiltily. I'm not going to stop. I don't owe Alice Cullen anything. "Don't let him hurt you anymore than he already does." He says knowingly as people rush past us. I pull away from him, tugging at the sleeves of my shirt to make sure they cover my wrists. My whole body is covered from shoulder to toe, nothing exposed to see the bruises or cuts. Only in Forks could I get away with this, in any other part of the country it would be weird to cover myself up so much. Especially in the summer.

He walks me to registration in silence, pausing outside the door to my classroom.

"Promise you'll try to stop." He says. I don't say anything back. I won't lie to him. I don't want to stop. I know I'm already getting too far out of my depth and that if anything like last night happened again it could kill me but I don't want to. It makes me feel...calm.

I go into the classroom and find Jessica sitting with Lauren, heads titled close to each other as the whisper, gossiping about some freshman who was caught yesterday, puking in the bathroom. For a second I wonder if it's Alice they caught, if that's her secret. My panic quickly fades when I remember Alice isn't a freshman. _I shouldn't care about Alice Cullen; she's no one to me. _I listen as Jessica drones on and on about the poor girl they found and wonder what she would say about me if she knew. I bet she'd be just as gossipy about me as she is about everyone else. No loyalty, no friendship. That's one thing with Jessica, she's your friend for only so long, once she's bored or whatever she'll stab you in the back as quick as the next person.

I look up at the clock and watch as I ticks slowly. I can't wait to be free of this town, to be free of everything, everyone. I can't wait to be free of Phil, to go to a university far, far away from here. It's only a few more months, as long as I get the grades for my scholarship I can be free from Phil. With the money my mother left me everything will be fine. _Everything will be fine. _

"**I close my eyes when I get too sad, I think thoughts that I know are bad." 'Wonderful' by Everclear.**

As I drive home I wonder if Phil will still be out. He wasn't home last night and he wasn't home this morning when I left. I doubt he's still gone, but a part of me is wishfully hoping.

His car is in the driveway but it was before because one of his friends picked him up to drive him into Port Angeles. As I open the front door the atmosphere instantly shifts and I know he's home.

I close the door and immediately he stumbles into the hallway.

"I missed work today you ugly bitch." He yells.

I lurch back to avoid him but he's there, in my face.

"I'm going to teach you a lesson once and for all."

I recognise the smell of alcohol on his breath, he absolutely reeks of it.

He lurches past me and heads for the stairs. I'm confused why he's not hurting me. What is he planning on doing? Where's is he going? I follow him up the stairs as he stumbles into my bedroom; I follow behind him afraid and confused.

He stumbles over to my bookshelves and begins sweeping them of the shelves. I run to stop him but he swings round and aims a clumsy punch at my heads, grazing it and knocking me to the floor. I watch in horror as he picks up my books and begins ripping pages from them. I try to stop him but he knocks me back to the floor.

"Please..." I beg him, "I need those. They're for school."

"School." He laughs. "A stupid little bitch like you's never gonna do well at school."

"Please." I beg him.

He turns away from the books momentarily confused. He stumbles slightly before regaining his senses.

"I told ya to shut up." He says as he lurches towards me. I can't say anything, I can't defend myself. He aims a vicious kick at my side before stumbling out of the room. I can hear him banging into things as he lurches into his bedroom. Crashing onto the bed and most likely passing out.

I pull myself up and go lock the door. _Just in case._ I strip sit on the edge of the bed and pull up my shirt until I can see the plaster covering my earlier cut. I pull open the drawer beside my bed and pull out the kitchen knife I hid. Running my fingers along my stomach I search for somewhere to cut. I know there are major arteries and that hitting one of them will kill me rather rapidly. I stare at my stomach and plunge the knife into the soft tissue on my right side, just under my rib cage.

Immediately I know something is wrong. A weird sensation goes through me and I know, _I know_, that I've hit something. Oh god. I'm going to die. I reach blindly for something to stem the blood, grabbing my shirt from yesterday and holding against my side. I grab my phone and keys, dizzy from the pain.

I stumble to the car and push the keys into the ignition. I'm too weak to drive and even I know I wouldn't be a good idea. I can't go to the hospital. I flip open my phone and ring Alice. Thank god she programmed in her number.

"Alice," I pant. "I've done something stupid. Can you please come take me to your dad? I'm in my driveway." I hang up the phone and close my eyes. And lean my head back against the headrest. This is it. I'm going to die.

**A/N: She didn't hit THE major artery in her leg (or she'd have bled out fairly quickly) but she did hit something fairly important, hence the need for a doctor. Look up a diagram of the circulatory system and you'll see what I mean.**

"**She doesn't look, she doesn't see, Opens up for nobody, Figures out, she figures out. Narrow line, she can't decide; Everything short of suicide, Never hurts, nearly works." 'Little House' by The Fray.**

I'm awoken by a cold hand against my forehead. It feels good against my burning skin. Why is it so hot?

"Carlisle she's burning up." Edward? Why is Edward in my car? Why are they here? I try to open my eyes but they're so, so heavy. I can't move. I'm so tired.

"You're going to have to carry her Edward and be quick; she's too delirious to remember anything." Carlisle? I recognise his calm, soothing voice. Oh no, I can't let Carlisle see me.

Suddenly and urge to be sick overwhelms me as Edward lifts me into his arms and it's as if, almost were flying. I can feel the wind rushing past me and begin to wonder if I hit my head. After almost no time at all I'm being laid down on a cool, hard surface,

"Edward, I can fix her here but there may be things we need to explain to her." Dr Cullen's voice. Where's Alice? I wanted Alice. Alice always makes me feel better, why isn't she here. I try to turn my head and open my eyes but I can't everything hurts, everything feels too heavy. The pain is incredible.

"Just fix her Carlisle." Commands Edward.

He lifts the shirt gently away from my most recent wound and a wave of nausea sweep through me. I'm going to be sick. I can't let him see me like this; I can't let him see what I did. Oh no, what if they lock me up or something? Phil would kill me. I have to go. It hurts so much.

"Bella, can you hear me." I whimper slightly but form no words. "I'm going to give you something for the pain, it's going to make you a little sleepy but when you wake up everything will be better.

***

When I wake up I'm lying on something soft with a blanket thrown over me. I open my eyes to get my bearings. I'm lying on a black sofa in what must be the living room. There's a giant television hung on the wall. I'm dressed in an oversized shirt. Someone must have changed me. Pulling it up I find a white dressing covering my side. There's a matching one on the cut below my belly button.

"You're awake." I turn my head, stopping as the pain spikes through my side. "Shush don't move." He says. "Carlisle said you had to rest."

I turn slightly, slower this time, to face him. His face is filled with utter pain and anguish. _I've_ caused him this pain. Guilt washes over me.

"Edward?" I whisper. He sits down on the floor beside me. "I'm so sorry for screwing everything up."

"So you should be." He says, but there's no anger in his voice. "You scared the crap out of Alice." I let out a sob, overcome by emotion. "Don't cry." He says. He strokes me head lightly, just like my mother used to, when she was still alive.

"I always mess everything up." I sob. The pain spikes through me as the sobs rack my body but I can't stop crying. Edward senses my distress and tries to calm me down.

"Shush," He says soothingly. "Carlisle sewed you back up. He gave you some antibiotics too."

I stop crying a little and pull my hand up to wipe my eyes.

"How long have I been out?" I ask. I'm almost afraid to. If I've been out a long time Phil will be mad.

"Two days. You were in and out yesterday but not very coherent. Carlisle's tried to keep you pretty sedated because of the cut."

"Oh." I whisper.

"What happened?" He asks me gently, the way a mother would a small child, no anger just reassurance, trust, in his voice.

"Nothing. Nothing ever happens." I tell him.

"You can't honestly expect me to believe you're just clumsy." He says angrily. He pulls away from me slightly.

"Believe what you like." I say bitterly. I can't be dealing with this now.

He pulls away from me completly and stalks out of the room, and like that I'm alone. I let out a sob. What have I done? Why must I screw everything up all the time?


	5. Through the wind and the rain she stands

**AN: This chapter is mostly a filler compared to the next two chapters which are AMAZING.**

**5. "Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone, In a world that she can't rise above." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.**

"**I think it's because I'm clumsy, I try not to talk too loud...They only hit until you cry, After that you don't ask why, You just don't argue anymore." 'Luka' by Suzanna Vega.**

I wake up still lying on the sofa with a blanket pulled up over me. My eyes are sore and my hair is stuck to my face. I must have fallen asleep still crying. Hurt stabs through me. The look Edward gave me, it was like he actually hated me. Like he just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

I bury my head down in the blanket. How long have I been asleep? I roll my feet over the edge of the sofa and sit up very slowly, holding my hand over my new bandage as if holding it somehow makes it all better. I feel less sick now. I think my infection is going because I don't feel so hot anymore. My cut hurts as I bend my legs over the sofa and I feel a little dizzy, both from the pain, though it isn't too bad, and from the blood now rushing to my feet. I tilt my head back against the sofa and catch my breath.

I sense movement in the room and open my eyes. Alice is standing right in front of me with a glass of water. How did she know I'd woken up? I look up at her questioningly. This whole family is so weird. I think back to earlier. How did Edward know how to find me in my car? It's like the whole family is physic or something.

"How did you know I was awake?" I ask her. She smiles at my politely before talking.

"I was just coming in to check on you." She says, staring right though me. I can tell she's lying. And she's hiding something too. It's in her body language. She comes over to me and hands me the glass. I take sip of it appreciating. How long have I been without food and water? Then I notice the cannula sticking out of my arm. Carlisle must have been giving me food and water through an IV. I guess I've been out a while. My mouth is dry and I take a large gulp of water.

I look up and notice Alice staring at me. I move up the sofa to make room for her. She comes and sits down beside me, pulling her feet up and tucking them underneath her. She seems to stare at me a while before talking.

"What happened Bella?" She asks me. I look away.

"What do you mean?" I ask, I know what she's talking about but delaying it somehow makes it better.

"Bella...you have bruises _all_ over your body. I changed you, I know. There are cuts and two giant holes in your stomach, one of which Carlisle just fixed after you almost _died_ in your truck, don't mess with me Bella."

I'm shocked by the sudden attitude swing in Alice, she's always been so happy.

I stare at her, hoping that my piercing gaze will make her look away. She doesn't, and I'm the one to break first.

"What do you want Alice?" I ask her directly.

"I want to know how my friend ended up bleeding, literally, her _guts out_ on the seat of her car!"

I look down at my hands which are resting in my lap. I feel so guilty for dragging them all into this. And for poor Dr Cullen, because he'll probably get in a lot trouble if anyone finds out he helped me.

"Alice, I don't know what to say. I can't talk to you. You wouldn't understand." I tell her.

"Bella, look around, I don't talk to anyone but my family, we're outsiders, who are we going to tell? We just want to help you. Do you know how much it would hurt us if you _died?_" She screeches. Wow, Alice, chill out.

"No one would care Alice, don't you see? _No one_ notices _anything!"_

"Bella! _We _noticed. Edward notices _everything._"

I pause momentarily as I realises this. They already know everything? Then why does she want to talk to me.

"It started after my mother died." I blurt out. "Not straight away. It was a while before he started being abusive." I stop and look down at my hands. Alice reaches out one of hers a despite its coolness her hand on mine reassures me and I continue. "At first it was just orders and shouts. He started becoming more and more distant, I didn't argue back 'cause I figured he was still hurting, like I was."

I wipe away a tear that has started to dribble down my face.

"One day, maybe two years ago now, I'd had a crappy day dealing with Lauren and I yelled back at him." I stop and let out a sob. "He grabbed me...his hands...his hands around my throat...he pushed me back against the wall, and he held me there...his hands around my throat...and he pressed down. I can still feel it. No air, I truly thought I was going to die. I never thought he'd let me go. He told me...he told me to never, _never_ disobey him again."

I cry and Alice hugs me as I sob into her shoulder.

"I tried...I tried_ so_ hard...but it didn't help...it just got _worse..._things _always _get worse. And then...and then I just...I don't know...I got sick of it...everyone hurting me...and I figured, well if everyone else is hurting me, why can't I? And it just...felt...sooo good."

"And then it all got out of hand." I whisper. "It took over."

"**As long as the music's loud enough we won't hear the world falling apart."**

**AN: The lyrics in italics are the Nora Bates song from the first chapter.**

I keep my thoughts trained on Alice as I listen to my record player fill the room with Nora Bates.

"_You don't know how very much you mean to me."_

"_How did you know I was awake?" _Bella asks Alice. I can hear the amusement in Alice's thoughts as she briefly considers telling Bella our secrets; I'm a vampire Bella, I can see the future. I watch as she weighs up her options and instead Alice decides to pass it off as a coincidence.

"_If you did I know that you would blame me." _

"_I was just coming in to check on you."_ Alice says, while Bella stares at her confusedly. I see the turmoil in Alice's mind as she debates telling Bella about us but she's so messed up right now, we can't risk her telling people. Bella can obviously tell Alice is lying and seems to pull back mentally. I watch through Alice's eyes as Bella does a full body check, mentally taking in her situation and weighing up her options. I really hope she doesn't try and run. Alice hands Bella the glass and she takes sip of it. Suddenly she notices the canula in her arm and panics. I watch as Alice freaks out too, wondering how to calm her down. Bella takes a sip of water and pushes the fear back down inside of her. I watch as Alice relaxes, her thoughts becoming less erratic.

Bella makes room for Alice on the sofa and she goes and sits down. Alice waits patiently for Bella before talking. I know this is going to be hard for both of them.

"_Know my love for you I have been showing,_

_my poor heart will not be overflowing. _

_And this too is very difficult to hide. _

_For there's something healthy way inside."_

"_What happened Bella?" _Alice asks and Bella looks away shamefully.

"_What do you mean?" _Bella asks back, playing ignorance. I can see the anger and irritation creep into Bella's thoughts.

"_Bella...you have bruises all over your body. I changed you, I know. There are cuts and two giant holes in your stomach, one of which Carlisle just fixed after you almost died in your truck, don't mess with me Bella." _Alice's thoughts are practically seething with anger.

Bella appears shocked by Alice's anger and I watch as Alice mentally flinches, regretting being so tough on Bella after all she's been through.

"_Without you I could never be so blue without you. _

_I would be gone from you for I cannot not live without you._

_Without you. I love everything about you."_

"_What do you want Alice?" _Asks Bella.

"_I want to know how my friend ended up bleeding, literally, her guts out on the seat of her car!"_ Screeches Alice.

"_Without you, life would some become a bore without you. _

_I would soon forget your smile for I love you so dearly I want you to know."_

Bella looks down at her hands which are resting in her lap. Alice feels bad for upsetting her. I want to go down there myself. I want to take Phil and hide his body in the woods.

"_Alice, I don't know what to say. I can't talk to you. You wouldn't understand." _Says Bella.

"_Bella, look around, I don't talk to anyone but my family, we're outsiders, who are we going to tell? We just want to help you. Do you know how much it would hurt us if you died?" _She screeches. Wow, Alice, relax or Bella will never open up to you. She was supposed to trust you.

"_Without you, nothing would be worthwhile. _

_Without you dear, the skies would not be blue without you_

_I would soon grow lonesome too, for I cannot live without you."_

"_No one would care Alice, don't you see? No one notices anything!"_

"_Bella! We noticed. Edward notices everything."_

"_I love every little tiny thing about you. _

_For without you my life would life would some become a bore without you." _

Bella's quiet for a moment.

"_It started after my mother died." _She blurts out. _"Not straight away. It was a while before he started being abusive_." She pauses and Alice reaches out a hand to reassure her. I can see the pain in her own thoughts as she remembers her past. _ "At first it was just orders and shouts. He started becoming more and more distant, I didn't argue back 'cause I figured he was still hurting, like I was."_

Bella wipes away a tear that has started to dribble down her face.

"_One day, maybe two years ago now, I'd had a crappy day dealing with Lauren and I yelled back at him_." Bella lets out a sob and my un-beating heart lurches._ "He grabbed me...his hands...his hands around my throat...he pushed me back against the wall, and he held me there...his hands around my throat...and he pressed down. I can still feel it. No air, I truly thought I was going to die. I never thought he'd let me go. He told me...he told me to never, never disobey him again." _Never have I wanted to hurt someone so badly. I now understand more than ever why Rosalie did what she did, even though it upset Carlisle.

"_I tried...I tried so hard...but it didn't help...it just got worse...things always get worse. And then...and then I just...I don't know...I got sick of it...everyone hurting me...and I figured, well if everyone else is hurting me, why can't I? And it just...felt...sooo good." _

"_And then it all got out of hand." _She whispers._ "It took over."_

"_I would soon forget your smile for I love you so dearly I want you to know._

_Without you, nothing would be worthwhile."_

I have to help her. I have to _kill _him.

"**You asked me if anything was wrong and I said NOTHING, then I turned around and whispered EVERYTHING."**

The let me go. The Cullens. Phil was really mad when I got home. He yelled and screamed for ages. But obviously he had seen the blood. And how awful I looked and somehow knew that anything he did to me could cause me serious damage.

I had another day off school after the Cullens freed me. Just one day to sought myself out, catch up on school work. I rang Angela who told me I hadn't missed anything; there'd been a few assignments but nobody expected me to do them as apparently Dr Cullen had rung the school saying I had a very severe case of flu and would be home for a while. Not only did it get the school of my back for being away, Phil never bothered to ring in when I took sick days, but it gave me an excuse for when I went back to school still looking like someone had dug me up from a cemetery.

I sit in the passenger seat as Angela drives me to school. She's in her normal quiet, contemplative mood which is so much better than Lauren and Jessica's talking selfishness but in some ways worse because Angela always seems to see right through my lies.

I hum along to the radio which is playing _The Fray _and tap my foot to the music. Angela starts to speak without taking her eyes off the wheels.

"Bella, is everything okay?" She asks me. I continue to tap my foot to the music.

"Huh?" I ask, deliberately playing dumb.

"You were off with flu for a week; it's not even going around at the moment."

"Angela, you know what I'm like, I'm always ill, and it _is _Forks." I say, making a joke out of it. "With all the rain it's surprising I don't get sick more."

She laughs at my joke, knowing it's true. I _am_ ill a lot, she can't doubt that. People are so easily bought off with diversion and humour. A little lie here, a big one there. No one sees because no one is looking, no one really wants to know your deep dark secrets.

As we pull up to school I quickly hop out of the car and make my way to the entrance. I immediately spot Edward Cullen waiting for me on the steps. What is it with this little obsession of his? Stalker much? He practically avoided me like I was contagious or something while the other Cullens held me hostage, why now, he had plenty of time to talk to me when we were all alone with no one to overhear our conversations.

I stop in front of him, wincing at the reminder of my stupid antics earlier.

"What do you want, Cullen?" I ask him.

He looks all pitiful and angsty. Like a puppy that just got kicked. I want to take back my words, tell him that I'm sorry, that I didn't really mean to be so aggressive. _Assertive._

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay...you didn't come to school." He says all broody and mysterious.

"I had flu, Edward." I say all bright and cheerful and _fake_. He looks at my again like a kicked puppy. "I needed time." I tell him. I'm not sure why but I guess Alice has probably told him everything anyway.

"Bella, if you need...if you need a break from...Phil." He bites out the last word with a lot of venom. "We have room at ours." He tells me.

"I'm fine Edward, I really am. Phil's not home so much anymore, so I can...I can take care of myself. I've been coping fine for a while."

He looks straight into me with his piercing gaze.

"Just because you _can _cope with it doesn't mean you _should_ have to." I look away from him before checking the time on my watch.

"Look Edward I really have to go, can we just catch up some other time." I say a little irritated. "It's been _super-_fun." I say sarcastically.

I push past him and into the corridor of students each wandering aimlessly towards their classrooms. I feel a hand on my shoulder and spin round angrily.

"What-"I break off when I see that is Jessica with a hurt look on her face.

"Ouch." She says. "What did they do to deserve your wrath?" Jessica, always on the lookout for more gossip. With friends like her, who needs enemies?

"Oh, nothing Jess, just feeling a little bit under the weather still." She coos sympathetically as she links her arm through mine and begins telling me about _all_ the gossip I've missed since I've been away, whilst simultaneously fishing for more gossip from me.

"Oh Jess, gotta go, sorry we couldn't talk more." I say as I break away from her and sit down for registration. _She didn't even ask if I was okay. _The subtle implication was there but she was just fishing for more gossip. Maybe I'd been off with some highly contagious illness or on my death bed and it would have been around school before next period.

At lunch I sit on the Cullens' table. They all talk happily around me whilst not eating their meals. I bend over my tray self consciously, and watch out of the corner of my eye and Edward shoots me concerned looks every now and again. What is it going to take to get this boy off my back?

"**How could this happen to me, I've made my mistakes, got nowhere to run." Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me) - Simple Plan.**

As I pull into the drive way I notice Phil's car in the drive way and the front door open. I try to think back about whether it was here this morning but I can't remember. I can't remember much these days; it's almost as if I'm a zombie, just drifting through life, waiting for something to happen.

I approach the front door carefully. Is someone trying to rob us? I know that I will get the blame for this; I didn't leave the door locked, the window, the glass wasn't thick enough. As I reach the door I notice there's no signs of a forced entry. No glass, no tool marks around the lock. _Did someone break in using our keys?_

I push the door open and immediately I see Phil at the end of the hallway stumbling around in the kitchen. He looks up when I push the door and stumbles towards me. I can tell he's drunk by the way he lurches, unsteady on his feet.

"Where the _hell_ have you been!" He roars. I back up, pushing the front door closed so that no passersby will notice.

"I...I was at school?" It's more of a question than a statement.

"Oh _really." _He slurs. " 'Cause I got a call from your _head teacher _asking when _you_ were gonna be back at school!"

"I...I went back today...I was ill." I tell him. He's getting closer and closer to me. Oh _god._ _I _did this. _I_created this web of lies for myself. And now I'm trapped I have nowhere to run, nowhere to escape to. He's backing me up against the wall. _Again. _His hands around my throat. _Again. _I struggle for air and the panic and adrenaline fill my veins. _Again. _He's pressing down harder than normal. I can see the stars before my eyes._ Again._

"Ill! _Ill!" _He shouts. " 'Cause I saw the blood and I know for sure I didn't do that you little _bitch." _He squeezes his hands around my throat. "Why the _hell_ can't you keep outta trouble! Like I don't have enough problems looking after my dead wife's P_sycho_ child!" He's right up in my face screaming at me, his hands pressing down on my throat. I can see the stars, coming much quicker to me that normal with the extra force he seems to be using. _He's really going to kill me this time._ I start clawing at his hands with my nails in an attempt to free myself. It doesn't help; he only squeezes tighter in anger. I'm trying to suck in air and the world is fading, there's rushing in my airs. I can't let him kill me. Not in my parents' house.

I can't escape. I can't break free of him and even if I did there's nowhere to run. I have nowhere to run to. Nowhere to go. Why did I always insist on pushing everyone away? Now I really need help and there's no one to say me.

_Finally_ he lifts his hands away from my throat whilst simultaneously pushing me to the ground. He kicks me viciously in the side and I physically can't breathe through the pain. I gasp and gasp but not air comes in. It hurts _so _bad. I can feel warm seeping through my t-shirt and know that he must have ripped open the stitches Carlisle put in.

I roll over onto my back still gasping, making myself and easy target for him. He reaches down and grabs me by my hair, dragging me back up to his level before aiming a clumsy punch at my face. Despite his drunkenness the punch pushes me back against that wall and I crack my head against it, becoming dizzy again as I slide down the wall. The punch to my chin doesn't hurt nearly as much as the back of my head.

I lie there on the floor, Curled up against the wall, protecting my stomach as he aims kicks at my back. It's amazing how much pain one body can take. I just lie there while he continues to attack me. Waiting for it to stop. Waiting for this all to end.


	6. But her dreams give her wings

**AN: I am really sorry how long its been since I updated. Starting university seemed to have messed with my writing a lot. Hopefully the last few chapters won't take as long. **

**6. "But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place, Where she's loved concrete angel." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.**

"**You may see me fall but you will never see me cry."**

_Bella._

Everything hurts. I can't breathe, there's a stabbing pain in my side, which feels as if its about to rib open. _Oh god. Pain, so much pain. _I can't breathe. I can't _breathe. _Oh god, what happened. I don't want to die like this, there's too much pain. I don't want to die slowly.

_Bella!_

Someone is trying to get my attention. _It hurts. I can't breathe._

_Bella. Open your eyes._

Is someone talking to me? _It hurts._

I blink and see a dark shadow hovering over me. I squeeze my eyes shut. It's Phil. He's come back to kill me. Finish off the job. _Why can't he just make it quick? Spare me any more pain. _Why can't he just let me be in peace with my mother and father. _Oh god, I miss mom. _

Please, please don't kill me. _Or at least if you do, do it quickly._

I feel a cold hand on my arm. _Very cold. Phil?_

_Bella. Wake up. Please. Open your eyes._

The voices are becoming clearer now and less distorted. Edward? Is that Edward's voice? Where am I? Am I dead? Am I in heaven? Hell? There's too much pain for heaven. Everything _hurts._ My world is too cloudy. I though death was easy. _So much pain._

"Bella. Bella, open your eyes." Not Edward, the voice is calmer. I blink open my eyes. A very blurry Carlisle is bent over me and Edward is hovering behind him, holding onto my arm. I can feel as Carlisle sets to work on me, trying his best to fix me. _It's too late. I'm broken._

More tears drip down my checks, mixing with the blood and making my hair stick to my face.

"I'm so sorry Carlisle." I gasp. I can't breathe, it's too tight. I try to suck in a deep breath, I can't get enough air in my lungs. It's like something is crushing me, a tightness in my chest. I can't breathe. _It hurts._

Carlisle is busy doing doctor stuff. So much pain. I try to breathe.

"Bella, I think it may be a hemothorax. That's where the blood builds up inside your chest, probably where one of your ribs nicked something and made it bleed." Carlisle tells me. I don't care about his doctor speak, I don't care about anything. I'd rather be dead. It hurts _so _much.

I gasp for air. "Edward..." I beg silently for more time, air. _Anything other than the pain._

"Carlisle, please, quickly." Begs Edward.

"Bella," Says Carlisle. "I have to get rid of the blood, okay? I need to make a hole in your chest and get rid of the blood to help you breathe again, it's going to hurt but you'll quickly feel better." I can't imagine it could hurt any more than I already do. Everything is so painful and I can't even breathe.

I gasp again. Everything hurts and I _can't _breathe. I need oxygen so badly.

"Just do it Carlisle." Snaps Edward. He takes hold of my hand. I try to grip it but my vision is blurring a little, rushing noises in my ears.

I feel a sharp, stabbing pain in my side, where it hurts already so bad. I let out a cry. I can't believe it's possible to be in so much pain and still be alive. I attempt to squeeze Edward's hand and try to blink back the tears. I can feel Carlisle poking my side and it _hurts. _Some of those ribs are definitely broken.

Suddenly I can breathe again. The pressure in my chest quickly drop off. It feels _so much_ better. The pain in my body is still intense but I can _breathe_ again.

"Okay Bella, I'm going to have a look at your other injuries now, before we move you. Edward, how long do we have." Asks Carlisle. I open my eyes wide, now clear and un-fuzzy from the oxygen and look at Edward. His face is full of angst and torment.

"He's passed out drunk, lying in his own vomit on the sofa. He'll be out of it for a while." Says Edward bitterly. I've never seen Edward in so much pain. Is it my fault? Am I then one causing his pain? I want to cry but I hold back more tears. I hurt too much.

I can feel Carlisle poking about, prodding me. It hurts everywhere he touches despite the gentleness. He sets to work bandaging and fixing at an inhumane speed while Edward soothingly strokes my forehead. I hurt so much.

Finally when Carlisle is finished he turns to Edward.

"How bad?" Asks Edward, pain lacing his voice.

"Major and minor bleeding, head injury, chest injuries, minor breaks but nothing major, no spinal injury. Be careful lifting her, she's still in a lot of pain, we definitely need to get her properly looked at. I assume back at the house, Bella?" He turns to look at me.

"Yes..." I gasp out. I'm still in so much pain. Carlisle notices and bends down over me.

"How much pain are you in Bella, on a scale of one to ten, before we move you?" He asks me.

"Nine." I gasp out. He frowns for a second.

"Edward, grab my bag, there should be some morphine in there." He turns back to face me. "Okay Bella, I'm going to give you something to help with the pain a little. It may make you feel a little out of it but it's better than being in pain." He smiles reassuringly as Edward passes him a needle.

I look away as Carlisle injects the chemical into my body. Compared to the pain I'm already in I almost don't even feel it.

"Okay Bella, Edwards going to pick you up now, as gently as he can, it's still going to hurt but we'll soon have you back to ours and patch you up. And we'll need to keep you for a bit, just to keep an eye on things."

I nod my head in agreement. Anything for a holiday.

"**My dreams tell me secrets, My mind tells me lies, My heart screams for help, My eyes only cry."**

**Edward POV**

I sense something wrong before I even hear her moaning. Suddenly her moans turn into actually cries for help, all-out screaming.

"_No...NO!...Please...no!...please don't hurt me..."_

I run to the sound of her voice, storming into my bedroom and brushing a cold hand against her forehead, drawing her up into my arms, trying to protect her from the monsters invading her imagination, trying to protect her from the monsters already in her life.

As I touch her, her whole body stiffens and her eyes shoot wide open, panic and fear pouring out of them. She stares at me panicked for a second as I continue stroking her hair before relaxing into me and beginning to cry into my shoulder. _The same as the last couple of times. _I wait with her patiently, waiting for her to stop crying, knowing this time that she will stop eventually, knowing that I'll also be in the same place in a few hours time, soothing her and stroking her hair, trying to protect her from the memories inside her head.

"Bella, My Bella." I whisper to her. "Everything will be alright."

Eventually after she's fallen asleep again I creep out of the room. I wish I could ease her pain.

"**When I'm alone, no one hears me cry." Courage: Superchick.**

**Bella POV**

_He's right up in my face screaming at me, his hands pressing down on my throat. I can see the stars, coming much quicker to me that normal with the extra force he seems to be using. He's really going to kill me this time. I try to claw at his hands with my nails in an attempt to free myself but I can't move my arms, I can't protect myself from him. I'm trying to suck in air and the world is fading, there's rushing in my airs. I can't let him kill me. Not in my parents' house._

_I can't escape. I can't break free of him and even if I did there's nowhere to run. I have nowhere to run to. Nowhere to go. Why did I always insist on pushing everyone away? Now I really need help and there's no one to save me. _

_Finally he lifts his hands away from my throat whilst simultaneously pushing me to the ground. He kicks me viciously in the side and I physically can't breathe through the pain. I gasp and gasp but no air comes in. It hurts so bad. I can feel warm seeping through my t-shirt and know that he must have ripped open the stitches Carlisle put in. Everything feels cold. _

_I roll over onto my back still gasping, making myself and easy target for him. He reaches down and grabs me by my hair, dragging me back up to his level before aiming a clumsy punch at my face. Despite his drunkenness the punch pushes me back against that wall and I crack my head against it, becoming dizzy again as I slide down the wall. The punch to my chin doesn't hurt nearly as much as the back of my head._

_I see him reach for something behind him. His gun. He pulls it out in front of him and fires at me. Pressure, warmth and pain spread through my chest. I look down and there's blood everywhere..._

"_No...NO!...Please...no!...please don't hurt me..."_

I wake up and I'm all alone. There's no one here to protect me. I cry into my arm. Everything hurts, I'm _broken_. I keep waiting for Edward to come find my but he doesn't come.


	7. Somebody cries in the middle ofthe night

**7. "Somebody cries in the middle of the night, The neighbours hear but they turn out the light." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.**

**AN I am sorry for not updating in 2 years. I had a bad episode of depression and after I came out of it I didn't feel very creative. I plan to finish this story quite quickly as I am a) on holiday. b) really want to start writing another one!**

"**If you hear something late at night, Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight, Just don't ask me what it was." 'Luka' by Suzanna Vega.**

Finally I stop crying. After a while I am just too tired. There are no more tears left to cry. Sometimes I wonder why the pain of it all, when the emotional pain gets _so_ bad, that I feel as if my heart will physically stop form the pain of it all. As if it's not physically possible to be in that much pain and survive.

But it is. Emotional pain can't kill you.

On the outside.

_Sticks and stones make brake my bones but words will never hurt me._

Everything hurts. And things only mend on the surface. The pain is still there, hurting. It never goes away. It's something you always have to live with. Or not.

I am such a pathetic failure.

I reach over to my ipod dock and play my ipod, the lyrics filling the quiet room.

_"My name is Luka..." _I get out of bed and go over to my window, staring out into the deep abyss. The darkness. There wasatime, when i was young that this frightened me. The emptiness, the unknown. Now I know better, I know that there are worse things out there to get you than the unknown, and that monsters don't hide in the dark, they're here. Hiding amongst the normal people. Hurting you, breaking you. And no one notices, no one knows. Monsters don't need darkness to hide.

_"...If you hear something late at night, Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight, Just don't ask me what it was." _I sing along with the words.

"Just don't ask me what it was, just don't assk me what it was-"

I'm interrupted by Phil barging into my room. He slams the door right back against the wall, almost pulling it off the hinges.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at? Huh? Huh?" He comes over to me and grabs me by neck of my shirt, pushing and pulling me up against the wall, choking me so I'm forced to stand on my tip-toes just to breathe. _It shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't hurt like this. He should love me. Someone should love me. _

He puts more pressure on my neck, strangling me. Suffocating me. I can't breathe. I'm going to die this time. He pulls me forward with his fist by the collar of my shirt then pushes me hard back into the wall, hitting my head hard against, so head that my legs give out from under me. I wimper.

His free hand swings up and lands a blow viciously against the sidde of my head, causing my to stumble. He lets go of my shirt and I fall to the floor. He pulls back his legs and kicks me hard in the ribs. I feel a few of them crack. He aims another kick at my ribs and a sharp stabbing pain goes through my chest. Suddenly its getting harder and harder to breathe.

He continues to aim kicks at me, getting a few in my abdoman this time. It hurts, it hurts so bad. I can't breathe, the pain in my chest is so bad, so sharp. I can feel myself getting light headed. He's going to kill me this time.

My vision is getting darker, its getting harder and harder to draw in any breaths.

_There would be no quick end like I'd been counting on._

I close my eyes.

"**Lonely people are always awake in the middle of the night." **

**[Edward POV]**

I turn the page of my book. _Alice In Wonderland. _The pages are frayed and torn. This copy is from the first publication of this book. A classic. My grandmother gave it to me when I was a small child. She said it was a special book that she had been given as a child and that she hoped I would love it as much. It means so much to me now because it is one of the few reminders I have of my old life. _Of my family. _When Alice first joined our family I always teased her that the book was about her.

The girl in it reminds me so much of Bella now. So confused, so helpless. Wandering around this mysterious land, not fitting in, not understanding, and not getting the help she needs so badly. Feeling as if everyone around her is crazy, and with many of them out to get her.

I want to wrap her up in my arms and hide her away from the world. Keep her same. Make her mine forever. I close my eyes and imagine her.

_"Edward!" _Shouts Alice, forcing her thoughts into my head; shouting at me with her mind.

_"Bella is hurt, go to her. Make her immortal." _

My Bella? What has that monster done to her this time? I'll kill him. I get up and run out of the house. I have to save her before its too late. I can't condemn her to this life. It isn't a life I'd have chosen for myself. To be soulless. To never have a family.

I meet Alice at the bottom of the stairs, Jasper hovering behind her, concerned. Feeling the hurt and worry from all of us, adding to his own.

"Where." I demand.

"She's in her room. Its not good. I've called Carlisle, he's on his way there from the hospital but there's not enough time."

Rosalie comes into the hall. She must have been outside and heard us.

"Let me come with you." She asks. I'm surprised. Rosalie has never shown much care for Bella. "I was hurt too." She reminds me.

"Go." Urges Alice. "You're wasting time."

"**You found me, you found me, lying on the floor." You Found Me - The Fray.**

**Edward POV**

As I get near her house I can smell the blood. The stench is overpowering already and I can feel Rosalie tense up beside me. This must be difficult for her, seeing Bella in a similar situation to the one she was in herself. It must bring back memories for her.

As I get inside her room I begin to see the full extent of her injuries. She's all bloodied and bruised to the point that its almost difficult to recognise it's her. He face is swollen and bleeding, with one eye completely closed. Her injuries are horrific but that's not what worries me. A horrible noise is coming from her throat. Ragged, gasping breaths, her chest barely rises.

I get down on my knees next to her body and try to block out the smell of her blood. _So tempting, so sweet. _I glance up at Rosalie quickly to make sure she's in control. I tear open her shirt gently and look at her ribs. Her chest is deformed, bruising forming already. One side of her rib cage is slightly sunken, clearly several ribs have broken in more than one place, no wonder she's having such difficulty breathing. Decades of being around Carlisle pay off. I know what's wrong with her, as if that weren't obvious anyway; one of her broken ribs must have punctured her lung causing air to build up in the space between her ribs and lung causing it to collapse. If I can't save her quickly she'll die.

I sense Carlisle's thoughts before he arrives in the room.

_Her breathing. She has a pheumothorax. _I tell him.

He immediately removes the rest of her shirt, exposing her stomach which is bruised and swollen. He begins to press on it. He then completes a full head to toe survey to assess for her most serious injuries.

"Edward, she's bleeding into her tummy as well, we can't save her here, I don't have the equipment." He tells me as he checks her body, feeling for a pulse. He moves at lightning speed. "Even if she were in a hospital I'm not sure she'd make it with her injuries.

"Please." I beg him. I can't lose her.

"Edward, I can barely find a pulse and it's getting weaker, her heart will stop soon, you need to choose. Let her die or make her immortal."

Suddenly she stops breathing completely.

"Edward now! I will do all I can to keep her alive through the transformation but it may already be too late."

I make my choice. She can't die. I am condemning her to a life of immortal hell for my own selfish reasons.

I sink my teeth into her neck, biting her body, getting my venom into her system as quickly as possible. She doesn't scream, she makes no resistance.

"Rosalie," Carlisle calls "Help me ventilate Bella while I work at the rest of her." Rosalie quickly attached an oxygen cylinder to a BVM and places the mask over her face, squeezing the bag to face air into her lungs. Breathing for her, my darling Bella.

I can't lose her.

Carlisle takes a scalpel from his bag and makes an incision in her side. He pushes a tube through the cut and connects it to a bottle.

"Edward, the drain will make it easier for her to breath during the transformation but her injuries are serious. She might not make it as it is."


	8. When morning comes it will be too late

**8. "A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate, When morning comes it will be too late." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride.  
**  
**"And it frightens, because you're barely alive." Jenny You're Barely Alive: Rilo Kiley.**

**[Edward's POV]**

Carlisle has connected her to a ventilator. The machine is breathing for her while her own body fights itself, trying to fail her.

She has so many wires and tubes coming out of her. Bags of fluid and blood hand around her trying to keep her alive. Carlisle warms me that as the transformation progresses her body will begin to resist the medicine and we will have to hope that the venom is strong enough to make her live.

Rosalie is furious. She was almost against Bella being changed, against anyone being changed. She said she never wanted to condemn anyone to this life if they had a choice. But Bella didn't have a choice. Just like Rosalie never had a choice.

Emmett is trying to calm her down. She's upset over Bella and keeps demanding to go find Phil and show him the same justice that she showed her attackers.

Carlisle hovers around her bed, checking vitals and measuring things.

She's still alive, for now.

I reach out and take her hand, kissing it and holding it in my hand.

"Fight Bella." I say. "Fight for me. Fight against _him_."

I squeeze her hand and hope she hears me.

"**I find myself, wanting to die." Dear Angel - April Sixth.**

The burning pain is indescribable. Every inch of my body is on fire. None of Phil's beatings have ever hurt this much. Am I in hell? Fire engulfs me.

"**My heart's just about to break open...There's something you should know." Now You Know - Hilary Duff.**

Slowly the burning fades. Everything becomes clearly. I can hear noises around me; the pacing of people scurrying around. I can hear birds in the sky and the pattering of rain falling outside.

I open my eyes. The light is bright but my vision is clearer than I remember it being before. I feel strange. There is a burning in my throat that I have never felt before.

I'm lying in a bed and I see Edward sitting beside me. He's holding my hand but he doesn't feel cold like he normally does. I pull my hand out of his and sit myself up in the bed. I don't appear to have any injuries despite the beating, and nothing hurts apart from my throat. I feel better than I have in a long time. I must have been unconscious or sedated for a few weeks. What has happened to Phil? How has he explained what happened to me? There's no way I fell this last time.

Carlisle smiles at me.

"Bella, how are you feeling." He asks.

"Great." I reply. "How long was I out." I ask.

Carlisle looks at Edward. "A few days." He says slowly. I frown. I can't have healed that quickly.

Confused, I try to get out of the bed. It feels different to normal, the bed fells softer, weaker. I glimpse at the window and see trees. We're not in a hospital, at least not in any hospital I know.

"Where am I." I ask, concerned.

"Bella," Carlisle begins. "We need to explain to you about us."

Edward winces. What's happening?

"Bella, we're vampires. We drink animal blood."

I'm shocked and slightly frightened. And then I remember all the strange things. Edward. He was so cold, her never ate. His eyes changing colour. It makes sense he's not human.

"Vampire," I ask. "Like, if I stab you with a stake you turn to dust?"

Carlisle laughs. "Those are all myths he says. Although we do drink blood and we are immortal."

Edward still looks concerned.

"What does this have to do with me." I ask.

Carlisle looks sad.

"Bella, you were very ill. We had a choice. Let you die, or make you one of us."

I gasp.

"I can't die?"

He nods.

"Bella you should know you're still very dangerous. That pain, the thirst you feel. That's for blood. The humans will seem like food to you, you have to be careful. We only eat animals and if you chose to stay with us, we would insist you followed our diet."

Of course I would follow their diet. I couldn't imagine eating one of my friends.

"What happened to Phil." I ask.

Its Edward's turn to speak now.

"The coward told people you'd run away. He cleaned the blood and hid all the evidence. He considered a lucky break your body just disappeared. I guess he assumes you went for help and didn't make it."

I'm saddened he got away with it. Again.

Edward pulls me into a hug and holds me. I can't cry. This must be a vampire thing. Eventually Edward lets me go.

"Come on," He says, "Come meet me family."


	9. A name is written on a polished rock

**9. /10 "A statue stands in a shaded place, An angel girl with an upturned face."**

"**A name is written on a polished rock, A broken heart that the world forgot." **

'**Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride. **

"**For weeks you asked me why I was so sad and I kept responding 'oh nothing' but you knew me better, oh darling we both knew better."**

Edward introduces my to his family who all tell me their stories.

First there is Carlisle. He is the founder of Edward's family. Carlisle was the son of an Anglican pastor who hunted monsters. One night Carlisle was attacked by a vampire and transformed. He tried to kill himself when he realised he was one of the monsters his father had hunted but all in vain. He was too strong. Eventually thist consumed him and he fed on a passing deer, when he realised he didn't have to be a monster to live this life he devoted it to helping other people.

Edward was the first one he turned. Edward was dying from Spanish Influenza. Carlisle has already watched his parents die and chose to save Edward. They became companions.

A short while later Esme, who had recently lost her baby and had attempted suicide. Carlisle had recognised her from when he treated her as a young girl and saved her. She fell in love with Carlisle and married him soon after.

Rosalie was next to join the family. She was assaulted and left for dead by her fiancé. Carlisle had saved her when he'd come across her body, as a possible mate for Edward. But neither had liked each other particularly. Rosalie had tortured and killed the men who hurt her.

Rosalie had then found Emmett. Emmett had been attacked by a bear, and she had brought his to Carlisle and he had been turned.

Alice and Jasper had joined the group next. Jasper had been changed be a vampire called Maria and lived a horrible life with her. After roaming on his own for a little bit Alice had found him and persuaded him to come find the Cullens –she'd seen it in a vision. Alice had been turned by a vampire while living in an Asylum. She remembered little from her past.

They all seem so welcoming of me.

Edward wraps his hand protectively around me while Alice bounds up and down like my best friend on Red Bull. Rosalie and Jasper sit in the corner, pitying me, but never saying out loud. They seem to welcome me. Esme hovers around, a protective mother taking care of her children. Emmett sits back watching us all, laughing and making jokes. Carlisle is the leader.

When they've all told their stories there's a pause of silence.

Rosalie looks at me and Edward growls.

"No." He shouts.

"Let her make her own choice." She says. "She's had so few already."

Rosalie turns to me.

"You know what I did." She tells me. "We're giving you that choice. We don't condone killing of humans or drinking them normally, but on this occasion we're giving you the choice.

I realise she's talking about Phil.

"I want to go see him." I say. "I want him to see me, strong, and know that he can never hurt me again."

"**She laid her heart and soul right in your hands, And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans, She never even knew she had a choice, And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't, Stupid boy." 'Stupid Boy' by Keith Urban. **

As I get close to my old house I can feel the burning in the back of my throat. Something smells appetizing. I quickly realise its Phil and I try to shake the urge. I don't want anything from that man. As I walk into the house with Rosalie I notice all the bottles of Alcohol on the floor. The TV is blaring and Phil is slumped in front of it.

"Wake up!" I growl.

He opens his eyes and laughs.

"Thought you were dead." He slurs.

I reach out at lightning speed and grab him by the throat and throw him against the wall.

He's surprised and winded. He lies against the wall. The alcohol in his system numbs the pain so he can barely feel it.

"What happened to you." He slurs.

"I'm a vampire." I say. "And we're going to make you suffer for what you did. And then we're going to kill you."


	10. Where she's loved

**11. "But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place, Where she's loved concrete angel." 'Concrete Angel' by Martina McBride. [Epilogue.]**

"**You found me, when no one else was looking." You Found Me – Kelly Clarkson.**

Its been months since I was turned.

I stand under a forest wearing a white dress with flowers in my hair. Edward is standing on my right, with his family behind us. Jessica and Angela are standing next to me. I've told them about Phil hurting me and that I'm in witness protection. They know that they won't get to see me much after this.

I have got to know so much about Edward and I'm sure there is still so much to learn. Initially I struggled a little with this new life but I'm finding it easier now. I'm able to be around humans without wanting to kill them and I'm beginning to feel like one of the family. Edward holds my hand and I look up into his eyes.

"Do you Bella Swan take Edward Cullen to be your husband?" Asks Emmett, our official.

"I do."

THE END.

**A/N. This is the end of my story. It seems to have tailed off a bit -the chapters aren't as good or as long as they were when I started and its taken longer to right the last few than I imagined. **

**If anyone has any changes they'd like to me to make feel free to PM me otherwise I will be working on a different story.**


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